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Will Kylo Ren Embrace Joy?

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Kylo Ren Inside Out

Just when we thought we’d worked through all the stages of feels associated with Kylo Ren and his role in The Force Awakens, artist Dan Hipp found a way to make us sob anew. Sure, just go ahead and explore Kylo Ren’s mental turmoil through the medium of Inside Out, Mr. Hipp. That’s totally fine. And while you’re at it, why don’t you title this piece, “I’m Being Torn Apart.” That sounds fun. Oh, you know what would be perfect? If you somehow include a pure golden memory of Han and li’l Ben together? Could you do that for us, Mr. Hipp?

…what? no we’re not crying. We’re not crying at all.


The Last Mortal Bond: Chapters 4 and 5

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Last-Mortal-Bond-US

The ancient csestriim are back to finish their purge of humanity; armies march against the capital; leaches, solitary beings who draw power from the natural world to fuel their extraordinary abilities, maneuver on all sides to affect the outcome of the war; and capricious gods walk the earth in human guise with agendas of their own.

But the three imperial siblings at the heart of it all—Valyn, Adare, and Kaden—come to understand that even if they survive the holocaust unleashed on their world, there may be no reconciling their conflicting visions of the future.

The trilogy that began with The Emperor’s Blades and continued in The Providence of Fire reaches its epic conclusion, as war engulfs the Annurian Empire in Brian Staveley’s The Last Mortal Bond—available March 15th from Tor Books and March 24th from Tor UK. Read chapters four and five one below, or head back to the prologue.

 

 

4

Nira’s stare might have been hammered out on an anvil.

“Just tell me,” the old woman demanded, “what’s the point a’ havin’ a fuckin’ councillor if ya’re not plannin’ ta listen ta any of her counsel?”

“I listen to your counsel,” Adare replied, trying to keep her voice low, reasonable, patient. She was reminded, suddenly, of her childhood visits to her father’s hunting estate northeast of Annur. While Sanlitun had never been a hunter, he kept a kennel of dogs—some gifts from foreign dignitaries, others whelped on the estate—and Adare liked to visit the dogs in the early morning, before most of the servants and slaves were up and about their business. There was an old red-coat hound bitch, blind in one eye, half lame and wholly vicious, to whom Adare took a perverse liking. She’d bring the aging beast a bone from the kitchen, toss it into the pen, then stand back while the bitch gnawed with the good side of her mouth, eyeing Adare balefully the whole time.

The hound had died more than a decade earlier, but talking to Nira brought back all the old instincts. Like the hound, the woman refused to let something go once she got it in her teeth. Like the hound, she’d snap at any hand that got too close, even the hand that fed her. Like the hound, she’d survived her share of fights, fights that had killed off all her peers.

And unlike the hound, Adare reminded herself grimly, Rishinira is more than a thousand years old, and once helped to destroy half the world.

“I would like to have you in Annur,” Adare said slowly, trying to pry this particular bone from Nira’s mouth without getting bitten, “but I need you here more.” She glanced toward the door of her study. It was closed and latched, but even so, she pitched her voice lower. “I have allies, Nira, but no friends aside from you.”

“Friends, is it?” the woman barked. “Friends!”

Adare ignored the interruption. “Right now you are the only person I really trust, Intarra help me.”

“Which is why, ya dumb cow, ya want me by your side when you trot off to this fool fucking meeting you’re so keen on.”

“No. It’s why I need you here, to keep an eye on il Tornja.”

Nira’s face hardened at the mention of the name. “Eyes are for fools. If all I kept on him was an eye, he’d a’ been gone long months back, disappeared, slipped outta your weak little paws completely.”

“I don’t think so,” Adare said slowly, considering for the hundredth time the events of the past year. “He’s not fighting this war for me, but he’s also not fighting it because you put some invisible leash around his neck. He was here, in the north, weeks before we came. He has his own reasons for going after the Urghul, for going after Long Fist.”

“Oh, I’ll grant him his reasons. Every creature’s got reasons, even a miserable, manipulating bastard like your general. Especially someone like him.” She shook her head. “Sticky thing about his reasons though, is just that: they’re his fucking reasons.” Adare caught a glimpse of brown teeth as the woman smiled. “That’s where the leash comes in.”

“But if you travel with me, if you go farther away, you won’t be able to…”

“Won’t be able ta what?” Nira raised an eyebrow. “You become a leach all of a sudden? Added that ta your long list of shiny titles?”

Adare shook her head, trying to keep her rising anger in check.

“Of course I am not a leach,” she said quietly.

Nira hooted, screwed her wrinkled face into a parody of surprise. “Not a leach? You’re not a leach? Ya mean ya can’t actually twist this shitty world to your will with a half second’s thought?” Before Adare could respond, the woman leaned forward, poked her in the chest with a bony finger. Nira’s levity had vanished. “Then quit tellin’ me what I can and can’t do with my kennings.”

She pulled the finger back, then stabbed it toward the northern bank of windows. “I know where he is, right now. That’s one a’ the things the leash does, ya tit-headed excuse for an emperor. If he decides to ride west tomorrow morning, I’ll know it. If he doubles back, I’ll know it. I’ll know it if I’m here, in this miserable hovel you call a palace, and I’ll know it if I’m hip-deep in the newly smeared shit of some Raaltan farmer’s field.

“And here’s another piece a’ wisdom I could be sellin’ that I’ll just give ta you for free: I can pull that leash tight from wherever I want, too. I could be sunnin’ myself on a slow boat just off the coast of Dombâng, some pretty, naked boy workin’ a nice oil into my aching feet, and if I wanted your general dead I could snap my fingers, feel him die, then roll over to let the oil boy go to work kneading my withered buttocks.

“So when ya say ya need me here to watch il Tornja, you’re either dumber than a poleaxed ox, or you’re lyin’, and I’d be hard-pressed to say which I like less.”

Adare forced herself to count to three after the woman finally fell silent. Then to five. Then to ten.

“Are you quite finished?” she asked finally.

“I am not,” Nira snapped. “There’s Oshi ta consider, too. Even if ya didn’t trust the leash, my brother’s right there with the bastard, doggin’ his every step.”

Adare shook her head. “Oshi’s not there to watch over il Tornja. He’s there in the hope that the kenarang might find a way to cure him, to fix his memory, his madness. He doesn’t even know who il Tornja is anymore.”

Nira snorted. “And the Csestriim bastard best keep it that way. Oshi’d burn him ta ash if he remembered the truth.”

They locked gazes. Adare could remember a time, not so many months earlier, when a tirade like that, delivered with all the woman’s bony conviction, would have shamed and dismayed her. Not anymore. Months spent wrangling with Lehav about the southern force and il Tornja about the northern; months of negotiating with the local merchants’ guilds over grain prices, with aristocrats over taxes, with the endless string of impotent ambassadors from Kaden’s ’Shael-spawned republic, hard-talking idiots who made dozens of promises and twice as many demands without delivering any actual change; months of knowing that a single mistake, a single piece of bad luck, and she would have failed all the people she had sworn to protect; months of listening to her son scream himself to sleep night after night after night—after all those months, she wasn’t as easy to cow as the terrified princess who fled the Dawn Palace a year earlier. And yet, there was nothing to be gained by locking horns with her own Mizran Councillor, especially when the woman was right.

“I did lie,” Adare said. “I want you close to il Tornja, but more than that, I need you here to watch over Sanlitun. To take care of him while I’m gone.”

“Ah,” Nira said, nodding slowly. “So that’s the heart of it. You’ve finally agreed ta part from the child.”

“There’s no other choice,” Adare said, hoping even as she spoke that she might still be wrong. “I have to go to Annur. The legions are undermanned, undersupplied, and exhausted. If I can’t save them, they can’t save Annur, can’t defend the people of Annur, and then what fucking good am I? What’s the point in being Emperor if you let a horde of savages tear apart the people you’re supposed to be protecting?” She shook her head grimly. “That ’Kentkissing council might just want me there so they have an easier time planting a knife between my ribs, but it’s a risk I have to take. I have to take it. My son does not. It’s safer for him here.”

She shivered as she said that word. Safer. As if any place was really safe with an Urghul army pressing down from the northeast, a false council of incompetent, power-grabbing whores holding Annur, the near-utter collapse of the legions in the south, an utter abdication of all peacekeeping within Annur itself, thieves and bandits prowling the land, and pirates pillaging the seas. There was every possibility that in leaving Sanlitun behind, Adare could be leaving him to die far from her arms.…

She forced the thought from her mind.

Aergad’s walls were battered, but they stood. The Haag flowed deep and fast to the east, a final barrier between the city and the Urghul. Beyond the Haag, il Tornja’s legions still fought their desperate battle. There was danger everywhere, but Aergad was still safer than the dubious welcome that awaited her in Annur.

“Look, Adare,” Nira said. For once, the woman kept her mockery and her anger in check. Her voice, too, seemed to have shifted, leaving behind the gutter slang of which she was so fond for something simpler, older, more sober. “You’re smart to leave your boy—for a dozen reasons—but not with me.”

“Yes, with you. You’re my Mizran Councillor.”

“Your councillor, yes. Not your wet nurse. These tits wore out a thousand years ago.”

“I don’t need you to nurse him,” Adare said. “Or to change him or clean him or swaddle him. I have a dozen women who can do that. I just need you to watch over him. To keep him safe.”

Nira opened her mouth as though to reply, then shut it abruptly. To Adare’s shock, tears stood in the old woman’s eyes, glimmering in the lamplight.

She had a child. The realization hit Adare like a fist to the face. In all the time since she first met Nira on the Annurian Godsway, she’d never thought to ask. For half a heartbeat she checked her memory of the histories of the Atmani, but the histories, for all their macabre detail when it came to the decades of war, were silent on the subject of children. As far as Adare knew, Nira had never married, not that that was any impediment to the bearing of children.

“I’m not the one, girl,” the old woman said, the whole weight of the centuries pressing down on her shoulders, voice rough as unsanded wood. “I’m not the one ta be watchin’ over children.”

Adare stared. She had learned to stand up to the woman’s curses and hectoring, but this sudden, quiet honesty left her dumb. “What happened?” she managed finally.

Nira shook her head. Her gnarled hands clutched each other on the table before her. Adare watched, trying to make sense of that awful, mute grief.

“I can’t do it, girl,” the old woman said finally. “Not again. I won’t.”

In just a few words, Adare heard the full scope of her own midnight horror. Since Sanlitun was born she had tried to tell herself that her nightmares and waking terrors, the endless litany of fears for her child, were nothing but the product of an exhausted, overworked mind. He’s healthy, she would remind herself, studying the child’s plump brown cheeks, his strong fingers wrapped around hers. He’s safe, she would whisper, glancing out her window toward the walls of the city. There’s no reason to be afraid.

Over the months since Sanlitun’s birth, Adare had built these feeble walls between herself and the wilderness of awful possibility that lay beyond. She had half convinced herself that through love, and care, and unending vigilance, she could keep all harm from the fat, fretful child, this tiny, inarticulate being that meant more to her than her own heart. The tears in Nira’s eyes, the twist of her hands, her few quiet words—I can’t do it, girl—tore through those walls like a knife through wet paper. A sudden desperation took Adare by the throat, and for several heartbeats she could barely drag the air into her lungs.

“I don’t… ,” she began. Her voice cracked, and she took a deep breath, fixing Nira with her eyes, trying to make the woman see, to understand. “I know it’s not perfect. I know you can’t protect him from everything. But I don’t have anyone else.”

Nira shook her head mutely, and Adare reached across the table, taking the woman’s hands in her own.

“You’re smart,” she said quietly. “You’re strong. And I trust you.”

“They trusted me to rule a whole continent once, girl, and I let it burn. I burned it.”

“We’re not talking about a continent.”

“I know what we’re talking about,” Nira snapped, something like the old querulousness creeping back into her voice. “I had a boy, too. My own boy. I couldn’t save him.”

Adare nodded. She could imagine the horror. She tried not to. “I’m begging you, Nira.”

The woman glared at her through the tears, then pulled her hands away to scrub her eyes. “An emperor doesn’t beg. An emperor commands.”

Adare shook her head. “Not about this.”

Nira turned back to her. “About everything, ya silly slut. That’s what it is to be an emperor.”

“Then you’ll do it?”

“Is it an order?”

Adare nodded silently.

“Then I’ll do it,” Nira said. She blew out a long, ragged breath. “I’ll watch over the sobbing little shit while you’re gone.”

Something inside Adare, some awful tension, went suddenly slack. She felt like she, too, might start weeping.

“Thank you, Nira.”

“An emperor doesn’t thank her subject for following her orders.”

“Well, I’m thanking you anyway.”

Nira shook her head grimly. “Thank me when I put the brat back in your arms and he’s still breathing.”

 

5

Last-Mortal-Bond-UKWith burning lungs and cramping thighs, Kaden forced himself to keep climbing the spiraling wooden stairs. Maut Amut had assured him that the attack on the Spear went no higher than Kaden’s own study, the thirtieth and last of the human floors built into the base of the ancient tower, and yet, after a restless night during which sleep eluded him, he realized he needed to see her, Triste, needed to look at her with his own eyes, to know that she was alive, safe; or safe as he had been able to make her.

It took only a dozen steps from the landing outside his study to climb free of the last of the lower floors, out of the human rooms and corridors and into the impossible, godlike space looming above. The stairs continued, of course, the only human construction in the echoing emptiness of the Spear, a tight wooden spiral at the tower’s center, supported by their own carefully engineered scaffolding, by the wrist-thick steel cables hanging down from the unimaginable heights above. Everything else was air, emptiness, and light, and far, far above, the highest dungeon in the world.

When Kaden was five years old and Valyn six, one of them had discovered The Design of Dungeons. He couldn’t remember how they had stumbled across the old codex, or where, or why they had even bothered to pick it up, but the book itself he remembered almost perfectly, every page, every meticulous diagram, every horrifying story of imprisonment, madness, and torture related in a dry, indifferent, scholarly tone. Yuala the Basc, the author of the treatise, had spent ten years visiting no fewer than eighty-four prisons and dungeons scattered over all fifteen Annurian atrepies and beyond. He had seen the Stone Pit of Uvashi-Rama, the Hot Cells of Freeport, and the infamous Thousand and One Rooms where Antheran kings and queens left their enemies to die. The diversity of the dungeons was nearly endless, but they shared a few common traits—they were underground, dark, and built of stone. On all three counts, the dungeon of the Dawn Palace defied expectation.

Though there were a handful of holding cells beneath the Hall of Justice— small, secure rooms for prisoners awaiting trial or processing—the greatest dungeon of Annur was not some crude, brutal hole hacked out of the bedrock. It was not a hole at all. You could mine a hole, after all, even one of stone. With enough time and the right tools, you could dig your way in or carve your way out. No one, however, in the whole history of the Annurian Empire or, indeed, earlier, had found a way to make the slightest scratch in the ironglass of Intarra’s Spear, and so the builders of the palace prison had chosen Intarra’s Spear for their work.

They didn’t use the entire tower, of course. The whole Spear could have housed a hundred thousand prisoners, an entire nation of spies, traitors, and conquered kings. One floor was sufficient, one floor hundreds and hundreds of feet above the ground, accessible only by this staircase spiraling up through light and silence, suspended from a dizzying apparatus of steel bars and chains.

From a distance, Intarra’s Spear looked impossibly slender, the tower’s girth insufficient to support its height. It seemed that a light breeze would snap the brilliant needle in half, that the clouds scudding against its sides would shatter it. From the inside, however, after climbing free of those first human floors, it was possible to judge the true diameter of the thing. A man with a decent arm might throw a stone from the staircase at the center to one of those clear walls, but it wouldn’t be easy. After the human dimensions of the rooms below, emerging into the huge empty column was intimidating. The staircase spiraling up inside looked fragile, futile, a bold, doomed effort to climb something that was never meant to be climbed.

Kaden counted a thousand steps, then paused on a landing, gathering his breath. The climb was no more brutal than some of the ascents in the Bone Mountains, no harder than running the Circuit of Ravens two or three times after the year’s first snow, but, as Amut had pointed out, he was no longer a Shin acolyte. After nearly a year inside the Dawn Palace, his legs had softened, and the flesh had thickened over his ribs. When he worked hard, as now, his heart labored in his chest, stubborn, baffled at its own inadequacy.

Leaning on the wooden railing, he looked down. Swallows had invaded the space, hundreds of them, roosting in the scaffolding, soaring through the empty tower, their sleek, dark forms darting and twisting in the rich light. Kaden glanced up. A few hundred feet above him, another man-made floor cut across the Spear’s girth, a floor of solid steel supported by great arches of iron and wood that spanned the enormous space. There was no way to carve the glass walls of the tower, no way to drill into them, but the Spear, like the stone cliffs Kaden had spent his years climbing, had its own natural features: shallow cracks and ledges, inexplicable gouges both small and large that might have been worn away by wind and weather. Only there was no weather inside the Spear, no wind.

Whatever the cause of those irregular features, the builders of the dungeon had used them to anchor their structure high inside the tower, nearly two-thirds of the way to the very top, a single floor set atop those arches. Kaden was close enough now to see the blocky forms dangling listlessly beneath—the steel cages of the condemned like ugly pendants hung from heavy chain. He slowed his heart, pushed more blood out into his quivering limbs, and kept climbing.

After a hundred more steps, the staircase wound its way into a metal sheath, like a corkscrew into the neck of a steel bottle. Fruin the First, the dungeon’s architect, had bolted huge plates of steel—each one larger than the bed of a wagon—onto the wooden beams of the stairs, blocking out the light and ruining any possibility of a would-be rescuer throwing a rope—or a vial of poison—to one of the prisoners.

Kaden paused inside the sudden darkness, his robe soaked with sweat, his lungs heaving inside him, to allow his eyes to adjust. Then, with trembling legs, he climbed on, forcing himself to grind out the last three hundred feet in one brutal push. There was no way to know, inside the near-blackness of the stairwell, when he was approaching the level of the dungeon itself. There were stairs beneath his feet, a railing in his hand, and then, abruptly, a landing lit by a lamp. The stairs continued on, twisting up and up, straight through the dungeon into another immeasurably large space and finally to the Spear’s top. Kaden ignored them, turning instead to the two armored guards—jailors rather than Aedolians—flanking a steel door hung from heavy hinges in a steel wall.

“First Speaker,” said the nearer of the two with a low bow.

Kaden nodded in return, glancing past the man at the closed door. It seemed Amut was right—the attackers, whoever they were, hadn’t made an attempt on the dungeon.

“Be welcome,” the guard said, turning from Kaden to the door. It swung silently open on well-oiled hinges.

For all the steps that Kaden had climbed, the admittance chamber to the dungeon of the Dawn Palace might as well have been underground after all, some windowless room in the base of a squat stone fortress. Skylights would have admitted ample light, but Fruin hadn’t allowed skylights into the design of his prison. That left hanging lamps as the only light. Kaden paused as the door thudded shut behind him, considering the room, studying the space for anything different, anything strange. Below the lamps, half a dozen clerks sat at a row of desks, bent over their papers, the scratch of their pens interrupted by a light chime when they dipped those pens into the ink, then tapped the excess free against the glass rims of their inkwells. Kaden took a deep breath, relaxed his shoulders. Here, too, all was calm.

In fact, only the unrelieved steel—the walls, the ceiling, the roughened floor, the three doors leading out of the room—suggested anything other than an ordinary ministerial office. The steel, and the fact that the man sitting beside the far door, sitting at a desk just the same as all the rest, wore full armor.

At the sight of Kaden, he rose quickly to his feet, then bowed.

“You honor us, First Speaker. Your second visit this month, if I am not mistaken.”

“Captain Simit,” Kaden replied slowly, studying the man.

He made a point of carving a saama’an of every guard each time he ascended to the prison, comparing them week to week, searching for some change in the angle of the mouth, the tightness around the eyes, anything that might tell of a betrayal before it came. He had come to trust Captain Haram Simit—one of the three chief jailors—more than most of them. The man looked more like a scholar than a guard—thin-fingered and stooped, a haze of uncut gray hair gathered in a kerchief beneath his helm—but there was a steadiness to him, a deliberation in his actions and his gaze that reminded Kaden of the Shin. Kaden considered his face, comparing it to the various saama’an he had compiled over the previous months. If there was a change, he couldn’t find it.

“You have come to see the young woman?” Simit asked.

He was careful like that—never the leach, or the whore, or even the prisoner—always the young woman.

Kaden nodded. He kept his face still, composed. “Have the Aedolians been up here? Have you been notified of the attack below?”

Simit nodded soberly. “Shortly after the third bell yesterday.” The jailor hesitated. “Perhaps it’s not my place to ask, First Speaker, but what happened?”

“Someone attacked three of Amut’s men. They broke into my study, then disappeared.”

Simit’s face darkened. “Not just inside the Red Walls, but in the Spear itself…” He trailed off, shaking his head grimly. “You should be careful, First Speaker. Annur is not what it was. You should be very careful.”

Despite the warning, relief seeped into Kaden like a cool rain into cloth. She’s still alive, he told himself. Unharmed. Suddenly, standing had become an effort. His legs were slack, whether with that same relief or simple exhaustion, he couldn’t say.

Simit frowned. “I hope you didn’t feel the need to climb all the way up here just to check. I can assure you, First Speaker, that this prison is secure.”

“I believe it,” Kaden said, wiping the sweat from his brow.

Simit watched him for a moment, then gestured to a chair. “Would you care to rest for a moment? The climb is taxing, even for those of us who make it often.”

“You’re the second person who’s told me that in two days.” He shook his head. “If I start sitting I don’t think I’ll get up.”

“Wise,” the jailor said, smiling. “I’ll let the cage-men know that you’re here to see the young woman.”

“Thank you,” Kaden replied.

Simit crossed to a discreet bellpull set into the wall beside the steel door, gave it a dozen tugs, some short, some long, then waited for the cord to twitch in response.

“Different code,” Kaden observed.

The guard smiled. “Most people don’t notice.”

“How often do you change it?”

“Daily.”

“And what would happen if I tried to go through that door without it?”

Simit frowned. “I could not permit that.”

“And what would they do below, at the cages? Let’s say the attackers from my study had come here instead. Let’s say they’d forced their way past you.”

“We have measures in place.”

“Measures?”

The jailor spread his hands helplessly. “I’m not at liberty to say, First Speaker.”

“Even to me?”

“Even to you.”

Kaden nodded. “Good.”

 *   *   *

The main door opened onto a long, dim hall—steel ceiling and floors, steel walls punctuated by steel doors on heavy steel hinges. Kaden’s light slippers were nearly silent on the rough metal, but the guard who had come to escort him—Ulli, a younger man with a blotchy face and lopsided ears—wore heavy boots that rang out at every step, as though the whole floor of the prison were one great gong. Answering clangs and clankings came from deeper inside: other boots, other doors slamming open or shut, chains dragging over rough edges. They had to pause twice for Ulli to unlock heavy gates. The prison was built in different zones, of which Triste occupied the most remote and inaccessible.

“How is she?” Kaden asked as they approached her cell door at last. A small number “1” was etched into the steel.

Ulli shrugged. He was never talkative. Unlike Simit, who understood the formalities of life inside the Dawn Palace, Ulli had all the formality of a sullen innkeeper serving late-night ale to drunkards. Most of the other council members would have bristled at the treatment, but then, most of the others weren’t ever going to climb thousands of stairs to the prison. Kaden found the young man’s indifference a relief.

“Is she still eating?” he pressed.

“If she stopped eating,” Ulli replied, swinging open the door, “then she’d be dead, wouldn’t she?”

“Does she still have the nightmares? Is she still screaming?”

Ulli put his shrug to use once more. “Everyone screams. That’s what happens when you put people in cages.”

Kaden nodded, and stepped into the cell. The first time he had visited, nearly a year earlier, he’d been momentarily shocked to find it empty—no sign of Triste inside the narrow steel box. That, of course, was because Triste wasn’t kept inside her cell. A leach and a murderer warranted an even higher level of security.

Ulli swung the door shut behind them, locked it, then gestured to an hourglass standing on the floor in the corner.

“Gave her the dose of adamanth at the start of the shift. She looked healthy enough then.”

“Healthy enough?”

“No point in me telling you when you’re about to see for yourself.”

Ulli gestured to a chain suspended from the ceiling. A steel bar the length of Kaden’s forearm hung horizontally from the final link in that chain. It looked like a crude swing and served much the same purpose. Kaden crossed to it, took the chain in both hands, seated himself on the bar, then turned to the guard.

“Ready,” he said.

“You want the harness?”

Kaden shook his head. It was foolish, perhaps, always refusing the harness. Sitting on the wide bar wasn’t difficult. No doubt, thousands of children all over the empire gamboled on something similar every day. Those children, however, would be hanging from tree limbs or barn rafters a few feet off the ground. Unlike Kaden, if they slipped, they wouldn’t fall thousands of feet to their deaths.

There was no practical reason to take the risk, but month after month, Kaden insisted on it. Back in the mountains there had been a thousand ways to die—slipping from icy ledges, getting caught out in an early fall blizzard, stumbling across a hungry crag cat. In the council chamber far below, however, danger was something distant and abstract. Kaden worried he was forgetting what it actually meant. Sitting on the slender bar alone, with no harness, was a way of remembering.

The metal doors dropped open. Kaden looked down. He could see the edge of Triste’s cage hanging from its own, much heavier chain, a few dozen feet below and to the right. A hundred feet below that, a pair of swallows turned in a lazy gyre. Below them—just air. Kaden looked back up in time to see Ulli throw the catch on an elaborately geared winch at the corner of the cell. The bar lurched, dropped half a foot, then steadied. Kaden slowed his heartbeat, smoothed out his breathing, forced himself to relax his grip on the chain. And then, with a clanking that sounded like some massive, mechanical thunder, he was lowered out of the prison and into the dazzling bright emptiness of the Spear.

Triste’s cage was not the only one. There were at least two dozen, hanging from their chains like huge, angular, rusting fruit—reserved for the most vile, the most deadly. Each had three solid walls and a fourth of thick steel bars. The cages were staggered, some closer to the floor of the prison above, some hanging much lower, all facing the walls of the Spear. The prisoners could see Annur spread out below—a different portion of the city depending on the orientation of the individual cage—but none could see each other. A few had a clear view of Kaden as he descended. Some cried out or cursed, some stretched imploring hands through the bars, a few just watched with baffled eyes, as though he were some unknown creature lowered down from the skies.

One poor soul had no cage at all. Instead, he sat wide-eyed and gibbering on a narrow platform barely one pace square, a platform supported at each corner by a chain. Simit called it, simply, the Seat. As punishment for defiance, or aggression, or violence, a prisoner was put on it for a week. The men subjected to it fell, went mad, or learned to behave. To Kaden it was a vivid reminder: while the Urghul openly worshipped Meshkent, Annurians had their own ways of paying homage to the god of all suffering.

He shifted his gaze to the cage below him, Triste’s cage, watching it approach as Ulli lowered him. The whole thing—the wrist-thick chains, the heavy steel plates, the bars—looked built to hold some monster out of legend, some unimaginable horror. When Kaden’s seat finally jerked to a halt, however, when he looked across the narrow space separating him from the hanging cell, when his eyes adjusted well enough to see inside, there was only Triste: small, bound, half broken, and even here, in this awful place, almost impossibly beautiful.

For the first month of her imprisonment, she had cowered all the way in the back of the steel box, as far from the bars as she could crawl. During Kaden’s earliest visits, she kept her face turned away, as though the light burned her eyes, flinched each time he spoke, and offered only the same unvarying words: You put me here. You put me here. You put me here.

Had Kaden allowed it, those words would have cut. Despite the massacre in the Jasmine Court, despite the terrible truth of the goddess buried inside her, Kaden couldn’t help thinking of the young woman as an ally, even a friend. Which was one of the reasons he had insisted on this cell. Whatever toll it would take, it kept her safe. Safe from the vicious members of the council, and safe from outside attackers, like whoever had raided his study earlier. He had tried to explain that, but Triste was beyond hearing explanations, so far gone that for months he worried she might die inside the cell despite his precautions, hollowed out by her own despair.

Recently, however, she had stopped huddling. Instead of cringing against the steel floor, she sat cross-legged in the very center of her cage, hands folded in her lap, eyes fixed on the bars before her. Kaden recognized the pose from his years of meditation among the Shin, but where Triste had learned it, or why she had decided to adopt it, he had no idea. She didn’t look like a prisoner; she looked like a queen.

And like a queen, she seemed barely to notice him during his most recent visits. An effect of the adamanth, according to Simit, of so much adamanth administered over so many months. Necessary, if they were to block all access to her well. Today, however, Triste raised her eyes slowly, as though considering Kaden’s dangling, slippered feet, then his chest, and only after a very long time, his face. He tried to read that gaze, to translate the planes and surfaces of the flesh into thought and emotion. As usual, he failed. The Shin were great ones for observing nature, but a life among the monks had given him scant opportunity for the study of humanity.

“I counted ten thousand lights last night,” she said, her voice low and rough, like something almost worn out. “Out there.” She inclined her chin ever so slightly, the gesture intended to encompass, he supposed, the whole of the world beyond the grim ambit of her cage, beyond the clear walls of the Spear. “There were lanterns hung from bamboo poles. Cook fires burning in the kitchens of the rich, in the fish stalls of the markets, on the streets of the Perfumed Quarter. There were fires of sacrifice on the rooftops of a thousand temples, and above those fires there were the stars.”

Kaden shook his head. “Why are you counting lights?”

Triste looked down at her hands, then over at the steel walls of her cage. “It gets harder and harder to believe,” she said quietly.

“What does?”

“That it’s a real world. That each of those fires has someone tending it, cooking or chanting or just warming her hands.” She glanced up toward the sky. “Not the stars, of course. Or maybe the stars. Do you think the stars are on fire?”

“I wouldn’t want to speculate.”

Triste laughed, a limp, helpless sound. “Of course you wouldn’t.”

Though Kaden had come to expect the rambling, disjointed thoughts, Triste’s incoherence still left him struggling to keep up with the conversation. It was like seeing a mind in the slow process of disintegration. As though she were a woman of packed sand thrown into a great, invisible river.

“How are you, Triste?” he asked softly.

She laughed again. “Why ask the question when you don’t care about the answer?”

“I care about the answer.”

For a moment she seemed to look at him, to actually see him. For just a fraction of a heartbeat, her eyes went wide. She started to smile. Then it was gone.

“No,” she said, shaking her head slowly. The exaggerated movement, back and forth, back and forth, reminded him of some half-tamed creature testing the range of a collar and leash. “No, no. No. What you care about is her. Your precious goddess.”

The other cells were dozens of paces away, well out of earshot, but Kaden glanced over his shoulder reflexively. The other prisoners, even if they could hear, weren’t likely to understand the conversation, and if they understood it, weren’t likely to believe that a goddess was trapped inside the young woman imprisoned in a nearby cage. The price of discovery, on the other hand, was disaster. Kaden lowered his voice.

“Ciena is your goddess, Triste. Not mine. That is why she chose you.”

The girl stared at him. “Is that why you keep coming up here? Are you having little chats with her while I’m drugged into oblivion?”

Kaden shook his head. “She hasn’t spoken. Hasn’t… emerged since that time in the Crane, when you put the knife to your stomach.”

For the first time Triste raised a hand, the movement slow, groping, like the searching of some blind creature as she probed the flesh beneath her shift, searching out the old wound.

“I should have finished it then,” she said finally, voice low but hard.

Kaden watched her in silence. It seemed a lifetime ago that Tarik Adiv had arrived on the ledges of Ashk’lan with a hundred Aedolians at his back, with the death of an emperor on his tongue, with Triste. She had been a girl then. She was a girl no longer.

He’d known her barely a year, and in that year there hadn’t been a single day in which she wasn’t running or fighting, lying in a cell or screaming beneath an Ishien knife. Not one day. Kaden’s own struggle had worn him, hardened him, and yet his own struggle had been nothing beside hers. A year of pain and terror could change a person, change her forever. Triste was no longer the wide-eyed daughter of a leina caught up in currents she could neither swim nor escape. That much was obvious. What she had become, however, what the pain and fear had made of her, what she had made of herself… Kaden had no idea.

“If you had continued driving the knife, you would have killed more than yourself and your goddess. You would have severed her touch from this world. You would have killed our capacity for pleasure, for joy.”

“At least, that’s the story your Csestriim tells you,” Triste spat. “The story he tells me.”

Kaden shook his head. “I’ve gone beyond Kiel’s account. Well beyond. The Dawn Palace has the most complete chronicles in the world—both human and Csestriim. I’ve been down in the libraries almost every moment I haven’t been struggling with the council. Kiel’s account fits with what I’ve read, with the histories of the gods and the Csestriim wars.”

“I thought he wanted to kill me,” she said. “It’s the only way to set his goddess free, right?”

“She is your goddess,” Kaden said again.

“Not anymore, she’s not. She stopped being my goddess when she forced her way into my head.”

“She chose you,” Kaden countered, “because of your devotion.”

“That can’t be true. There are scores of leinas in the temple, all of them more adept in Ciena’s arts than I’ll ever be, all of them utterly committed to the service of their goddess.” She grimaced. “I was… a mischance. Some minister’s by-blow.”

“Tarik Adiv had the burning eyes,” Kaden pointed out. “Your father was related, however distantly, to my own. Which means that you, too, are descended from Intarra.”

The notion still surprised him. For hundreds of years the Malkeenians had staked their imperial claim on that lineage, on those eyes, on the claim that there was only one divine family. Forking branches of the tree could lead to civil war, to the ruin of Annur.

Triste shook her head. “It doesn’t make sense.”

“It makes perfect sense,” Kaden replied. “It is the only thing that makes sense. According to the legend, Intarra bore the first Malkeenian millennia ago. The family would have ramified. My branch cannot be the only one.”

“I don’t have the eyes,” she countered.

“Neither does Valyn.”

Triste bared her teeth. “Even if it’s true, what does it mean? What is it worth? What does it have to do with this bitch lodged inside my skull?”

Kaden could only shake his head. Even Kiel’s insights extended only so far. Even the Csestriim, it seemed, could not peer into the minds of the gods.

“We don’t know everything,” he said quietly. “I don’t know everything.”

“But you still want to kill me.”

The words weren’t angry, not anymore. Something had snuffed her anger, quick and sure as a fist clamped over a candle’s flame. She sounded exhausted. Kaden himself felt exhausted, exhausted from the long climb and from the fear that someone had broken into the dungeon, found Triste, hurt her.

“No,” he said quietly, searching for another word, some phrase adequate to convey his worry. The Shin had taught him nothing, unfortunately, of human consolation. If he could have, he would have put a silent hand on her shoulder, but he could not reach through the bars. There was only that single syllable, and so he said it again, helplessly, “No.”

“I’m sorry,” she replied. “I misspoke. You want me to kill myself.”

“The obviate isn’t suicide. There is a ceremony to be observed. A ritual. Without it, the goddess can’t escape. She cannot ascend.” He paused. “And this is not something I want.”

“Cannot ascend,” Triste said, ignoring his last comment. “Cannot ascend.” Her laugh was sudden and bright as a bell. Then gone.

“Why is that funny?”

Triste shook her head, then gestured to the bars of her cage. “It’s a good problem to have. That’s all. Forget about ascending—I’d be happy to get out of this cage for the night.”

For a while they were both silent.

“Has she… spoken to you?” Kaden asked finally.

“How would I know? I never remember the times when she’s in control.” She fixed him with that bright, undeniable gaze. “For all I know, you’re making the whole thing up, everything about the goddess. Maybe I’m just insane.”

“You saw what happened in the Jasmine Court,” Kaden said gravely. “What you did. What Ciena did through you.”

Triste drew a long, shuddering breath, opened her mouth to respond, then shut it and turned away. The memory of the slaughter sat between them— the ravaged bodies, shattered skulls—invisible, immovable.

“I won’t do it,” she said finally. “Your ritual.”

“It isn’t my ritual, and I didn’t come here to ask you to take part in it.”

“But you want me to.” She still didn’t look at him. “You’re hoping—or whatever monks do that’s like hoping—that I’ll accept it, that I’ll embrace it. Well, I won’t. You’ll have to carve her out of me.”

Kaden shook his head. “It doesn’t work like that, as I’ve explained before. The obviate, were we to attempt it, seems to require your consent, your active participation.”

“Well, you can’t have it,” she snarled, turning on him in a sudden fury. “You can’t fucking have it! My mother gave me up to my father, my father gave me up to you. This ’Shael-spawned goddess is inside my skull, she forced her way in without ever even asking me, and now you want to sacrifice me. And you can. Obviously. All of you can give me up, can trade me from one person to the next, pass me along as long as you want.

“You can hit me, and you have. You can hurt me, and you have. You can lock me in one prison or the next”—she waved a hand around her—“and you have. You can give me to Rampuri fucking Tan or to the Ishien or to your council.” She glared at him, the late sun’s light reflected in her eyes. “I’m used to being given up by now. I expect it. But I’ll tell you what I won’t do—I won’t accept it. I won’t play along. For a while, a tiny little while, I thought you were different, Kaden. I thought we might actually…” She broke off, tears in her eyes, shaking her head angrily. When she spoke again, her voice was low, furious. “Everyone trades me away like a stone on the board, but I will not trade away myself.”

Kaden nodded. “I know.”

She stared at him, teeth slightly bared, breath rasping in her throat. “Then why are you here?”

He hesitated, but could think of no reason to skirt the truth. “To check on you. There was an attack.”

She stared. “Here? In the Dawn Palace?”

“In Intarra’s Spear.” He pointed down through the dizzying emptiness toward the human floors thousands of feet below.

“And you needed to tell me?”

“I needed,” Kaden replied carefully, “to see that you were all right.”

Triste looked moved for half a heartbeat, then the expression melted off her face. “To be sure she is all right,” she said again. “You think it was il Tornja, trying to get at the goddess.”

Kaden nodded. “I think it is a possibility.”

She glared at him. “Well, since you asked, I am not all right, Kaden. I haven’t been all right in a very long time.” Her eyes had gone wide, vacant. She wasn’t focusing on him anymore. “I don’t even know what all right would be anymore. We’re all going to die, right? Probably horribly, most of us. Maybe all you can do is die where you want to die, end things on your own terms.”

“Few of us have the luxury to act only on our own terms.” Kaden shook his head. “I do not.”

“But you’re not in here, are you?” Triste said, raising her hands to seize the bars for the first time. “You’re free.”

Kaden watched her silently for a moment. “And what would you do, Triste, if you were free?”

She held his eyes, then seemed to slump, as though collapsing beneath the weight of the very notion of freedom. When she responded, her voice was thin, far away: “I’d go somewhere. Somewhere as far from your ’Kent-kissing palace as possible. There’s a place my mother used to talk about, a little village by an oasis in the shadow of the Ancaz Mountains, just at the edge of the Dead Salts. As far from the rest of the world as you can get, she used to say. I’d go there. That village. That’s where I’d go.…”

It was hard to know how seriously to take the words. Triste’s eyes were unfocused, her speech slightly slurred with the adamanth. She had fixed her gaze over Kaden’s shoulder, as though on something unseen in the distance.

“If I could get you out,” he began slowly, “if I could get you clear of the prison and the palace for a while, somewhere else, would you be willing to consider—”

All at once her attention was there, concentrated furiously on him. “I already told you,” she snarled. “No. Whoever comes to kill me—il Tornja, or Kiel, or you—he’s going to have to do it himself.”

“And the goddess…”

“I hope she fucking feels it when the knife bites.”

 *   *   *

The descent from the prison took Kaden almost as long as the climb. By the time he neared his father’s study, his legs wobbled beneath him and his hands felt twisted into claws from so much clutching of the railing. The simple fact that Triste was alive should have come as a relief, but despite her survival, there was no comfort in the larger picture.

Every visible future was grim. Triste killing herself without performing the obviate, or being killed. Il Tornja’s assassins hacking off her head, or the council throwing her alive onto a pyre with a few self-righteous words about law and justice. In some futures, it was Kaden himself killing her, holding the knife when there was no one else left to hold it. He could feel the girl’s blood hot on his hands, could see her angry, helpless eyes locked on him as he tried to carve the goddess free of her flesh.

He wanted nothing more, when he finally stepped from the luminous emptiness of the Spear into human floors below, than to lock himself inside his study, set aside all emotion, and drift in the vaniate.

Kiel, however, was still in the huge chamber, sitting motionless in the half darkness, pondering the ko board before him, setting the stones on the board slowly—white, then black, white, then black—working through the moves of an ancient contest first played by men or Csestriim centuries dead. Kaden watched in silence for a while, but could make no sense of it.

After a dozen moves, he shook his head, turning away from the incomprehensible game on the ko board, from Kiel’s unwavering gaze. For a moment, he looked at Annur; the city was even more baffling than the game of stones, the very sight of it a reproach. Kaden had survived the attack on Ashk’lan, had survived the kenta and the Dead Heart, had managed to overthrow Tarik Adiv, seize the Dawn Palace, establish the republic, and thwart Adare and il Tornja, and for what? Annur was in shambles, and il Tornja, according to Kiel, had managed to outmaneuver him at every juncture from hundreds of miles away. Kaden blew out a long breath, crossed to the wide wooden table, and flipped idly through the loose parchment stacked there.

Intarra knew that he tried to keep track of it all. To make sense of it. Orders for conscription, new laws intended to curb banditry and piracy, new taxes intended to fund all manner of ill-founded projects in the faltering republic. He read it all, but what did he know about any of it? What did it all—

He paused, finger on a sheet he hadn’t seen before. Just a few lines of inked text. A simple signature. No seal. He shook his head in disbelief.

“What?” Kiel asked.

Kaden stared, reading the words again, and then again.

“What?” Kiel asked again.

“It wasn’t a theft,” he managed finally. “They didn’t break in to take anything.”

The Csestriim raised his brows. “Oh?”

“They broke into my study,” Kaden said, raising the sheet of parchment, “to leave this.”

Excerpted from The Last Mortal Bond © Brian Staveley, 2016

Supergirl Finds Her Heart’s Desire in the Pain of Real Life

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Supergirl 1x13 "For the Girl Who Has Everything" review

It’s funny—we were just talking in the office last week about the trope of the “it was all a dream”/”you imagined it” episode in SFF TV series. Buffy the Vampire Slayer had one of the best ones with “Normal Again,” which put the Slayer in a mental institution, but we couldn’t think of many other examples. This week, Supergirl tried its hand at a similar plot, in which an alien plant called the Black Mercy hallucinates Kara into thinking that she’s been on Krypton this whole time and Earth was just a dream. And if that sounds familiar, it’s because the series is also mimicking Alan Moore’s Superman story For the Man Who Has Everything.

Spoilers for Supergirl 1×13 “For the Girl Who Has Everything.”

A week after Supergirl battled Bizarro—who apparently doesn’t exist as Superman’s nemesis in this universe—Kara is beset by another threat that Clark failed to warn her about (or didn’t know about at all): the Black Mercy, a parasitic plant that submerges her deep into a fantasy world. In her case, it’s waking up on Krypton from an awful hallucination about living on Earth. Instead, Krypton never blew up, her aunt Astra isn’t a terrorist, and little Kal-El looks up to his cool older cousin. Even though Kara at first fights conflicting joy at seeing her parents alive with the tug to return to Earth, even the name of her adopted home begins slipping from her mind.

Supergirl 1x13 "For the Girl Who Has Everything" review

On Earth, Alex and the DEO determine that Astra’s husband Non planted (heh) the Black Mercy to incapacitate Kara; he also has something to do with the solar flares disrupting everything from DEO computers to Cat Grant’s wall of TV screens. The problem is, in order to wake up, Kara must reject the fantasy world, and the others aren’t sure she’ll realize it’s fake. So, Alex drags Maxwell Lord into things to hook them up with some sort of virtual reality Inception device so she can jump into Kara’s faux-Krypton and bring her sister back.

Supergirl 1x13 "For the Girl Who Has Everything" review

Photo: Darren Michaels/Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

It’s a cool idea for an episode, but the same problem persists with Supergirl‘s other ambitious plots: It simply doesn’t last long enough to have any emotional impact. In Moore’s story, it’s Batman, Robin, and Wonder Woman who find Superman playing facehugger with the Black Mercy, a bizarre “birthday gift” from the alien Mongul. And here’s the thing: Mongul tells the horrified superheroes that the Black Mercy shows anyone his or her heart’s desire. That adds an extra dimension to the conflict: Maybe Superman will decide he wants to stay in his fantasy world where Krypton doesn’t blow up.

If Kara is being treated to her heart’s desire, I never heard the show address it. The closest thing we get to a heart’s desire is the repetition in the non-Krypton scenes about how important Kara’s job is to her. Not her friends or family, but that she can’t endanger her menial assistant job at CatCo. Hence why Hank has to pop into the office to fool Cat. Kara has said more than once how much her job has meant to her; she’s done everything in her power to keep it when she would probably be better off not being verbally abused and sent on trivial tasks instead of saving people. It represents normality, i.e., being a Millennial paying her dues instead of living as an aristocrat on an alien planet.

Supergirl 1x13 "For the Girl Who Has Everything" review

Photo: Darren Michaels/Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

Back to the dream. Yes, her parents are alive and Krypton has apparently flourished in the past twelve years, but Kara herself is treated more like Buffy in the straitjacket—made to believe that she imagined everything. “Why would I send you to that primitive planet?” Alura laughs when Kara asks about Earth. (I guess this is the closest this show has gotten to gaslighting.) What I want to know is, why did we have to revert back to the status quo by the end of the episode? Why couldn’t we (and Kara) have spent a several-episodes-long arc on this fantasy Krypton, a la Angel’s adventures in Pylea? On Angel, that arc allowed the main character to finally loosen up, Cordelia to evolve, and Fred to be introduced—all plot points that had big ramifications for seasons afterward. Similarly, if we could have seen Kara get an actual taste of life on Krypton, it might have made her decide she didn’t want to return to Earth, rather than just slowly become brainwashed over the course of a few scenes. Or the show could have gone the Moore route, in which Superman thinks he’s back in utopia, only to see it crumble: Jor-El discredited because Krypton doesn’t actually blow up, the house of El dishonored, Kara herself attacked because of anti-El sentiment.

Supergirl 1x13 "For the Girl Who Has Everything" review

Instead, we get Alex appearing in her skintight leather, begging her sister to come home. (Kara: “I have no sister”—love how she’s on Krypton for just a few scenes, and she’s already adopted their more formal way of speaking.) By this time, Kara seems to have embraced the Black Mercy fully, attacking Alex to protect cute li’l Kal-El. But then Alex gives her a heartfelt speech about how real life is about pain and loss:

Alex: “I am trying to remind you of the truth. Life isn’t perfect. I know it can be hard, especially for you. You have sacrificed and you have lost so much. I wish you could have had a life with your family, but even if you did, Kara, it wouldn’t be this. Because this isn’t real. And deep down, Kara, deep down you know it. I can’t promise you a life without pain and loss because pain is a part of life, it’s what makes us who we are. It’s what makes you a hero. You fight every day to keep people from struggling like you have. I know you can remember, please, if you try. Please, please try, Kara, because Earth needs Supergirl.”

Kara: “Supergirl.”

Alex: “Yes, remember that life, with James and Winn and Hank. Your friends need you, and I need my sister! Kara, I can’t choose this for you. You have to choose it yourself.”

 

Supergirl 1x13 "For the Girl Who Has Everything" review

Photo: Darren Michaels/Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc.

And now we know why Kara had to come back: So she could be by Astra’s side as she died. The twist is, while Kara is furiously beating up on Non, Astra—who helped the DEO identify the Black Mercy—is trying to kill J’onn J’onnz. To save the Martian Manhunter, Alex slides a kryptonite blade right through Astra’s heart. But when Kara comes across her dying aunt, Hank quickly takes the blame, claiming self-defense. And then we have this moment, which is all about the real-life pain of loss:

Kara: “Astra, I have to tell you, when I was under the Black Mercy and you were there…”

Astra: “As your enemy.”

Kara: “As my family.”

Supergirl 1x13 "For the Girl Who Has Everything" review

OK, that made me tear up a little.

Other Thoughts

Hank trying to pass as Kara at CatCo was pretty funny, especially as he’s had experience playing as Supergirl (remember his joke about the comfy skirt), but not as Kara Danvers. When he was struggling to keep up with Cat’s rapid-fire instructions and resorting to tears to try and get some sympathy (rookie mistake, Hank, Cat cares not for the waterworks), I couldn’t help but see it as a metaphor for baby boomers assuming they know how to do Millennials’ jobs.

“If you’re her sister and I’m her aunt, what does that make us?”

“Nothing.”

Damn, Alex, that’s cold. For a show that really pushes the notion of family, especially adopted ones, that’s not very open-minded. Alex tries to tell Kara the truth at the end of the episode, but of course she chickens out. I know the writers are saving this for later in the season, but this secret is just going to fester until it’s confessed.

Ten Great Graphic Novels to Check Out for First Second’s 10th Anniversary

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firstsecond-cover

This year marks First Second’s tenth anniversary! For the past ten years, we’ve been publishing graphic novels around the clock—and we’re delighted to celebrate that this February. Whether you’re a fan of science fiction, fantasy, horror, or adventure, we’ve got something to satisfy every reader! Head below for 10 of our favorite can’t-miss titles!

 

The Wrenchies, by Farel Dalrymple

wrenchiesFor Science Fiction Readers

So say in the future that mysterious vampiric creature started to such out everyone’s brains once they hit puberty—to the extent where the only people left were kids under twelve. But then the kids discover magic… and time travel—and that’s where the story begins. It’s crazy and awesome.

 

Princess Decomposia and Count Spatula, by Andi Watson

princess-decomposiaFor Fantasy Readers

What do you do when your father, the king of the underworld, leaves you with all the responsibilities and none of the power to fix the problems? Why, you hire a vampire chef who can bake his way out of anything! This book is delightful and sweet—and full of magical baking.

 

Cat Burglar Black, by Richard Sala

cat-burglar-blackFor Horror Readers

Something mysterious is going on in K’s boarding school—can it be monsters? Maybe… but perhaps it’s a secret society of villainous cat burglars hiding out under the school instead!

 

Feynman, by Jim Ottaviani and Leland Myrick

feynmanFor Geeky Readers

Interested in the US’ most popular scientist? Now you can read a biography in comics form—including all the lock-picking and bongo drum episodes you always wanted to actually see.

 

Templar, by Jordan Mechner, LeUyen Pham, and Alex Puvilland

templarFor Adventure Readers

If you’re a fan of Indiana Jones, you’ll love this book—it’s got Knights Templar, mysterious conspiracies, and a heist caper! Will our protagonists escape (and hide the secrets of the Knights Templar to this very day)? You’ll have to read the book to find out.

 

American Born Chinese, by Gene Luen Yang

american-born-chineseFor Young Adults

When you’re an Asian-American kid having trouble fitting in, you know what only makes the situation worse? Having the mythical Monkey King start meddling with your life—and making your subconscious wish to fit in come true.

 

Andre the Giant, by Box Brown

andre-giantFor Nonfiction Readers

If you’re a fan of The Princess Bride, you should check out this book—it gives a behind-the-scenes look at the life of Andre the Giant (and it’ll teach you about the intriguing world of professional wrestling to boot).

 

Battling Boy, by Paul Pope

battling-boyFor Kids

When your father leaves you alone on a monster-filled planet, it’s your job to clean it up… even if you’re only thirteen. And if you don’t know how, you’d better learn. Paul Pope’s dynamic artwork and fantastic characters make this book a must-read.

 

Drawing Words and Writing Pictures, by Jessica Abel and Matt Madden

drawing-wordsFor Aspiring Graphic Novel Creators

This is the textbook—it’s actually a literal textbook—for anyone who wants the basics of how making comics work. Homework assignments, reference materials, lesson plans—this book has it all! Start at the beginning and do all the activities through the end, and you’ll improve your cartooning skills tenfold.

 

A.L.I.E.E.E.N., by Lewis Trondheim

ALIEEENFor Aliens

We’re serious about this recommendation—this book is entirely written in an alien language, so we’re not even exactly sure what it’s about. Any help, aliens? A universal translator would come in handy about now.…

 

What are your favorite graphic novels from First Second?

Gina Gagliano does marketing and publicity for First Second, and she likes graphic novels a whole lot, too. First Second Books is a publisher of graphic novels, and this year is their tenth anniversary! First Second is fond of cats and other amphibious mammals, as well as comics, chocolate, and cookies (as appropriate for any ten-year-old).

Don’t Touch That Dial: Midseason TV 2016 – Adaptations

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Don't Touch That Dial midseason TV 2016 adaptations The Magicians The Shannara Chronicles Shadowhunters

And we’re back with the second installment of the Midseason Premieres 2016 edition of “Don’t Touch That Dial”! Up this time are book adaptations, including a show about magical young adults battling powerful forces who want them dead (The Magicians), a different show about magical young adults battling powerful forces who want them dead (Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments), and a third show about magical young adults battling powerful forces who want them dead (The Shannara Chronicles). I’m sensing a pattern here…

 

DTTDms2016_Magicians-cover

The Magicians

The Road So Far: Quentin Coldwater (Jason Ralph) is miserable. His best friend Julia (Stella Maeve) is too busy coasting on her brilliance and drive to let herself sink into depression. That all changes when Quentin is accepted into a magical graduate school called Brakebills and Julia is not. While Quentin forges friendships with his classmates—sexpot Kady (Jade Tailor), grumpy Penny (Arjun Gupta), unpredictable Margo (Summer Bishil), flamboyant Eliot (Hale Appleman), and shy Alice (Olivia Taylor Dudley)—Julia delves headfirst into unregulated street magic. Their paths are parallel but destined to intersect after Quentin et al. inadvertently let The Beast (Charles Mesure), a monstrous magician with ties to the children’s books set in the Narnia-esque fictional world of Fillory, into their world. (Syfy, Mon 9p)

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: First off, the special effects in The Magicians is thrilling. It genuinely feels like a unique magical system with its own complicated set of rules and exemptions. There’s a lot to be desired with the characters, though. They still feel largely underdeveloped. Part of the reason why is due to the show running through plots like they’re on sale. On one hand, it means each episode is a collection of events devoid of deeper meaning, leaving them entertaining enough but rather hollow. On the other hand, I’m happy to see them stay in the shallow end of the pool if it means we don’t have to suffer through Syfy failing to adequately portray the terrible events that befall Julia in The Magician King, book two of Grossman’s trilogy.

A scene as bleak as Julia's mood.

A scene as bleak as Julia’s mood.

Taming down Quentin’s moodiness allows the story to breathe a little more and expand beyond his black-cloud perspective. Only trouble is, by reducing Quentin and the other characters’ complex relationships to Fillory, magic, and each other down to its base components, what’s left isn’t very engaging. Sure, there are some lovely moments of candor that are simply perfect, but until they grow from off-handed asides to real development, they don’t add up to very much. We are told, repeatedly, that the magician kids are brilliant but never see them do anything intellectually rigorous. It’s as if the show expects the audience to port over backstory from the books rather than take the time to build interesting characters from scratch.

The power of the books lies not in the young adults but in the moral and psychological subtext to their arcs. Countless think pieces have been written about Quentin Coldwater’s turn as the melancholy, emotionally stunted maybe-maybe-not star of the books, and just as many debate the merits of Julia’s precarious journey and the tragic violence she endures. Very little of that translates from page to screen, however. On a stronger show, that would be a good thing—I’d love to see a different take on the Brakebillians and the street mages—but so far Syfy doesn’t seem up to the task.

TL;DR: Not to complain about a TV show being so drastically different from the books it’s based on…but I really wish the show was more like the books, if not in structure than at least in theme.

 

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Shadowhunters: The Mortal Instruments

The Road So Far: Clary Fray (Katherine McNamara) has just turned 18 and her whole life has changed. No longer is she the future art school student stuck in an awkward unrequited love triangle between her two best friends, but now she’s a magical demon hunter caught in two more awkward unrequited love triangles. Turns out her mother, Jocelyn (Maxim Roy), was once part of an elite team called the Shadowhunters, rune-enhanced warriors who kill demons and protect humanity. She took her daughter’s memories and also stole an artifact known as the Mortal Cup that apparently everyone is ready to murder to get their hands on. Clary’s father Valentine (Alan Van Sprang), who for some reason lives in an abandoned factory in Chernobyl, is after Clary and the Cup, so she accepts protection and help from a trio of hottie Shadowhunters, Jace (Dominic Sherwood), Alec (Matthew Daddario), and Isabelle (Emeraude Toubia). They are aided by sexy warlock Magnus Bane (Harry Shum Jr.) and hindered by Jocelyn’s manipulative boyfriend Luke (Isaiah Mustafa). Clary must use her newfound skills to defeat Valentine, rescue her mother from his wicked clutches, and secure the Cup, and she has to do it all in trashy outfits and towering heels. (Freeform, Tues 9p)

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Shadowhunters is about as disjointed in tone as one would expect from a channel that was formerly known as ABC Family, Fox Family, the Family Channel, CBN Family Channel, and CBN Satellite Service (the latter three part of Pat Robertson’s media empire). You may remember the concept from the film The Mortal Instruments: City of Bones that fizzled out in 2013. The TV writers learned nothing from that flop, however, and have thrown everything onscreen in hopes that some of it sticks. The romance is the worst offender of the busy and needlessly complex plot. Magnus has eyes for Alec, who has eyes for Jace, who has eyes for Clary, but her human and maybe vampire BFF Simon (Alberto Rosende) also has eyes for her, while his bandmate Maureen (Shailene Garnett) has eyes for him. And that’s all in one episode! Look, writers, you have 13 episodes to play with. You don’t have to put every single plot into every single episode. Pace yourselves. Let the story breathe and give the characters a chance to react to their situation.

Maybe don't put this on your resume, kids.

Maybe don’t put this on your resume, kids.

The young actors are the weakest links, not a good sign for a young adult show. McNamara acts like most young, inexperienced TV actors do, mistaking volume for seriousness and theatrics for drama. Isabelle is a role comprised entirely of neutered sexuality befitting a channel desperate but unable to fully shed its ABC Family association even though the she and Toubia herself would be a much better fit on The CW. But it’s how cheap the show looks that really does it in. Soap operas have better production values than Shadowhunters. The show would be better off having no CGI than the off-brand MS Paint graphics they insist on using. It looks even worse when the actors are required to interact with it, especially given the barely competent editing and stage directions/choreography. At least it’s diverse, right?

TL;DR: There are kernels of potential—I can see why the six-book YA series by Cassandra Clare was so popular—but it all falls flat through uneven pacing, poor casting, underwhelming CGI, and an underfunded budget.

 

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The Shannara Chronicles

The Road So Far: The actual plot for The Shannara Chronicles is crazy expansive (the Wikipedia article for the book the season is based on gave me a headache halfway through) but basically the story opens several hundred years after the humans lay waste to the world and split off into four races. Elves, who had gone into hiding as humans rose to prominence, returned to power just in time to find their ancient magic tree, the Ellcrys, was dying. The tree trapped demons who the elves had fought millennia before, and with each falling leaf, a new demon escapes its prison. Enter Wil Ohmsford (Austin Butler), half-human, half-elf, and the last of the Shannara family with a set of powerful Elfstones. He teams up with Elf Princess Amberle Elessedil (Poppy Drayton), a Chosen elf destined to protect the Ellcrys at all costs, and Eretria (Ivana Baquero), a thief who must choose between her adoptive father Cephelo (James Remar) and joining Wil and Amberle on their journey. With the aid of the Druid Allanon, they set off on a series of quests to defend their world, send the demons back to the Four Lands, and ultimately battle The Dagda Mor (Jed Brophy). Back at the palace, King Evantine Elessedil (John Rhys-Davies) clashes with his sons Ander and Arion (Aaron Jakubenko and Daniel MacPherson) over a risky plan to join forces with the Elves’ sworn enemies. (MTV, Tues 10p)

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly: Speaking of unoriginality, The Shannara Chronicles plays at fantasy but fails to build anything substantive with it. Name a fantasy trope, and chances are Shannara has already done it or is just about to. MTV clearly wants it to be the teen version of Game of Thrones, but it’s about as ruthless as Shadowhunters. But where Shadowhunters counts Buffy the Vampire Slayer as its ancestor, Shannara is a direct descendant of Xena: Warrior Princess and Lord of the Rings. It’s straight-up fantasy, with monsters of the week, quests, and Chosen One destinies. Of course, the show’s source material was once a fairly niche novelty—Terry Brooks’ first Shannara book came out in 1977—but in the midst of a glut of high- and low-fantasy fares in contemporary pop culture, it feels more than a little retro. And not in a good way.

Chosen ones, schmosen ones.

Chosen ones, schmosen ones.

At least the CGI looks great. The fantasyland is vivid and the monsters grotesque on quick glance, but study the scene and the seams show. The casting is standard MTV fare—hot young people very talented at looking good in tight clothing and less skilled at staying this side of melodramatic—but it’s the adult actors that keep the show grounded. Rhys-Davies, Remar, and Bennett understand how to balance roles this silly with necessary seriousness while still playing to the cheap seats. Butler, Baquero, and Drayton aren’t bad and seem to improve with each episode, but their inexperience is palpable, especially when asked to keep up with the veterans. I’ll give the show this: They make diverse casting look easy. Major networks, if MTV can be inclusive without being heavy-handed about it, so can you. The ridiculous dialogue keeps the show from ever getting too boring. It’s hard to stay grumpy at a show that wants to be taken seriously but who also has a character shout “Damn your Druid tricks!”? Good thing there are only 10 episodes this season, although you wouldn’t know it based on the extensive worldbuilding and infodumping taking place.

TL;DR: If it can survive to a second season, I suspect things will calm down a bit, but until then if you need a show to watch while doing laundry, The Shannara Chronicles has you covered.

Alex Brown is an archivist, research librarian, writer, geeknerdloserweirdo, and all-around pop culture obsessive who watches entirely too much TV. Keep up with her every move on Twitter and Instagram, or get lost in the rabbit warren of ships and fandoms on her Tumblr.

The Tale of Tales Sweepstakes!

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The Tale of Tales sweepstakes

Penguin Classics has just released a new edition of Giambattista Basile’s The Tale of Tales, and we want to send you a copy!

Before the Brothers Grimm, before Charles Perrault, before Hans Christian Andersen, there was Giambattista Basile, a seventeenth-century poet from Naples, Italy, whom the Grimms credit with recording the first national collection of fairy tales. The Tale of Tales opens with Princess Zoza, unable to laugh no matter how funny the joke. Her father, the king, attempts to make her smile; instead he leaves her cursed, whereupon the prince she is destined to marry is snatched up by another woman. To expose this impostor and win back her rightful husband, Zoza contrives a storytelling extravaganza: fifty fairy tales to be told by ten sharp-tongued women (including Zoza in disguise) over five days.

Funny and scary, romantic and gruesome—and featuring a childless queen who devours the heart of a sea monster cooked by a virgin, and who then gives birth the very next day; a lecherous king aroused by the voice of a woman, whom he courts unaware of her physical grotesqueness; and a king who raises a flea to monstrous size on his own blood, sparking a contest in which an ogre vies with men for the hand of the king’s daughter—The Tale of Tales is a fairy-tale treasure that prefigures Game of Thrones and other touchstones of worldwide fantasy literature.

Comment in the post to enter!

NO PURCHASE NECESSARY TO ENTER OR WIN. A purchase does not improve your chances of winning. Sweepstakes open to legal residents of 50 United States and D.C., and Canada (excluding Quebec). To enter, comment on this post beginning at 12:30 PM Eastern Time (ET) on February 9th. Sweepstakes ends at 12:00 PM ET on February 13th. Void outside the United States and Canada and where prohibited by law. Please see full details and official rules here. Sponsor: Tor.com, 175 Fifth Ave., New York, NY 10010.

Worlds Without End is Challenging Readers to Explore Tor.com’s Short Fiction

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Worlds Without End Tor.com short fiction reading challenge roll your own

Well, color us flattered: Worlds Without End, an online database committed to identifying the best science fiction, fantasy, and horror books for readers, has announced the Tor.com Short Fiction Reading Challenge. This is just one of the many “Roll Your Own” reading challenges that WWEnd hosts; other specialized challenges for 2016 include reading 13 Brandon Sanderson books in a year, or reading 12 books by 12 new-to-you female authors in the same length of time. As WWEnd is adding short fiction to its database, they thought it would be the perfect timing to inspire readers to discover new short works.

As with other Roll Your Own challenges, this one runs from January to December 2016. Readers (who must be members of WWEnd to participate) are encouraged to choose among four reading levels, from 24 books to 96 books. (“Books,” in this case, meaning our short stories, novelettes, and novellas.) WWEnd has over 300 stories listed on their website, which you can read free on Tor.com. WWEnd further explains the challenge:

And since it’s Tor, you know the authors are top notch household names… well, in more geeky households anyway. Authors like Kim Stanley Robinson, Ellen Kushner, Michael Swanwick, Seanan McGuire, Harry Turtledove, Kameron Hurley, Eileen Gunn, and Charles Stross to name just a few. These are a mix of original fiction and reprints in a multitude of sub-genres so there is plenty for everyone to love.

So the rules are simple: pick any shorts you like from Tor.com for your list. They don’t have to be the freebies either—Tor won’t mind a bit if you buy some of their non-free novellas—but they do have to be from Tor. As usual we encourage you to take a flyer on some new authors and of course we hope you’ll try to split your reads between male and female authors. The reviews are just suggestions in this case but we do want to know about what you’re reading so drop by the forum to let us know how you’re doing. Don’t let the reading level numbers scare you off—these are shorts after all.

Find out more about the challenge on WWEnd. Note: Tor.com is in no way affiliated with WWEnd, but we thank them for the signal boost!

The Wheel of Time Reread Redux: The Dragon Reborn, Part 8

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WOT-TDR-DKS

Well, and a jocular corpulent Day of Tiw to you, party people! And as is tradition among my people on this particular calendarial epoch, let the good (Wheel of) Times (Reread Redux) roll!

Today’s Redux post will cover Chapters 15 and 16 of The Dragon Reborn, originally reread in this post.

All original posts are listed in The Wheel of Time Reread Index here, and all Redux posts will also be archived there as well. (The Wheel of Time Master Index, as always, is here, which has links to news, reviews, interviews, and all manner of information about the Wheel of Time in general on Tor.com.)

The Wheel of Time Reread is also available as an e-book series! Yay!

All Reread Redux posts will contain spoilers for the entire Wheel of Time series, so if you haven’t read, read at your own risk.

And now, the post!

 

Chapter 15: The Gray Man

WOT-blackajahRedux Commentary

I assumed in the original commentary that Mesaana sent the Gray Man, and was also pretty dismissive of the suspicion cast on Sheriam. For the former, I don’t remember if it was ever refuted later, but barring that I see no reason to change the assumption that Mesaana was responsible.

As for the latter, well. Normally I would say that’ll learn me about assuming a red herring instead of genuine foreshadowing, but in Sheriam’s case I remain divided in my mind as to whether her Darkfriendliness was intended from the beginning, or… well, wasn’t. There’s still something about that whole reveal in TGS that sits oddly with me. But, it is what it is, and choosing to roll with the idea that Sheriam was Black Ajah all along certainly does make this chapter read differently than it did before.

So, I guess I am to assume now that Sheriam did indeed send the Gray Man, and the other one she finds dead in her bed later was a warning for screwing up the assassination attempt? I’m not sure, though. It makes as much sense to me to suppose that Mesaana was directly responsible for the attempt, and put the other Gray Man in Sheriam’s bed as a warning for interfering in the aftermath. I like the latter theory better, actually, because if Sheriam had actually been assigned the task of offing the Supergirls, then she is woefully incompetent, considering the absolute wealth of opportunities she must have had as Mistress of Novices to get rid of them in a much more subtle way.

In fact the whole thing strikes me as needlessly ostentatious, really. Why not poison their food, or asphyxiate them in their beds, or push them down a flight of stairs or something, instead of sending a clearly Shadow-associated hitman to kill them in a way which is guaranteed to cause an uproar? Unless the obviousness/uproar is the point, but if so, I can’t quite suss out why that would be so.

I dunno, the whole Gray Man-in-the-Tower thing never really made much sense to me, honestly, but since it never seemed to matter much except to contribute to the general theme of “everyone’s trying to kill Our Heroes ALL THE TIME,” I really never bothered to get that upset about it. And the scene itself was very dramatic and suspenseful, aaaand maybe that shouldn’t count more than the scene actually making sense, but, uh. Two out of three ain’t bad?

[Egwene:] “If the Black Ajah is still here, Nynaeve, and if they even suspect what we’re doing… I hope you didn’t mean what you said about acting as if we are already bound by the Three Oaths. I don’t intend to let them kill me, not if I can stop it by channeling.”

I’m puzzled by this conversation. Why should the Three Oaths interfere with them defending themselves from Black Ajah? The Third Oath specifically allows for using the One Power in defense of oneself against agents of the Shadow, a set of which Black Ajah are most certainly members.

…Oh, or maybe Egwene is talking about killing with the Power, and Nynaeve is advocating less lethal methods. Which, if so, proves that at this stage of things Nynaeve most definitely should still be the boss of them, because wow, Egwene.

And a minor note:

Sheriam put a hand to the man’s chest, and jerked it back twice as fast, hissing. Steeling herself visibly, she touched him again, and maintained the Touch longer. “Dead,” she muttered. “As dead as it is possible to be, and more.”

So this is something I never noticed before, the capitalization of the word “touch” in this passage. Maybe it’s just a typo in my edition and got corrected later, but it’s interesting if it isn’t, because then it’s a Power thing that never got mentioned or explained since—again, as far as I recall.

Or, possibly “Touch” got replaced with “Delving” later, since it seems to be much the same thing.

 

Chapter 16: Hunters Three

WOT-lionRedux Commentary

One of those fun instances where the (new) icon and the title tell you pretty much exactly what is going to happen in the chapter.

Although it doesn’t tell you about the small high school drama interlude we have before it. I don’t remember if I initially found Gawyn and especially Galad to be as infuriatingly condescending here as I do now, but I would be surprised if I hadn’t, because ugh. Even acknowledging that they were acting under orders from both their monarch and their mother, they still make me want to smack them upside the head for the douchey way they went about it.

I do take back what I said in the original commentary complaining about the lack of indication from Gawyn that he was into Egwene. Given what we will learn (or possibly have already learned, I forget) about Gawyn’s gratitude toward and semi-hero-worship of Galad, it actually makes perfect sense that he would go to considerable lengths to hide how he feels about a girl Galad has shown an interest in. He’s being a good bro, literally, and I feel like I shouldn’t fault him for that.

Especially since I will have so, so many other things to fault him for Real Soon Now. (Ugh.)

“Nynaeve, you wouldn’t—” Gawyn began worriedly, but Galad motioned him to silence and stepped closer to Nynaeve.

Her face kept its stern expression, but she unconsciously smoothed the front of her dress as he smiled down at her. Egwene was not surprised. She did not think she had met a woman outside the Red Ajah who would not be affected by Galad’s smile.

So this bit is hilarious for several reasons, but in part because I keep being startled anytime there is a reference in the story to the fact that Nynaeve is, in fact, quite short. Just as Galad continually gets rendered ugly in my mind because of his (to me) toxic personality, I constantly subconsciously assume Nynaeve’s height matches her personality, when instead she’s about seven feet of attitude in a 5’4” body.

And yes, that is actually her height, at least according to Jordan—most of the time, anyway. As a side note, it’s so perfectly geeky that so many fans have specifically asked how tall the characters are that it was a FAQ. I mentioned this to a non-geek friend once and she was completely puzzled about why this was important to know. Admittedly, my reply (“we need to know for reasons”) was not exactly helpful, but I tend to think this is the kind of thing where, if you have to ask why, you’re not going to really get the answer anyway.

As for Nynaeve’s decision to bring Elayne in, in retrospect it was probably less about being clever and sneaky as it was about deciding not to postpone the inevitable. Because seriously, there was no way Elayne wasn’t going to muscle her way in on this, whether Nynaeve wanted her there or not. She’s not exactly used to taking “no” for an answer, after all. Plus there’s that whole “more courage than sense” aspect, though really none of the Supergirls can throw stones on that account.

Also, Nynaeve has her blind spots and there’s no doubt about that, but she is pretty perceptive in her deduction here that the Amyrlin was considering letting Mat die, even without knowing why Siuan was considering it in the first place (i.e., Mat’s link to the Horn). Granted, it’s probably easier to see ulterior motives in people when you are automatically predisposed to think the worst of them, but that doesn’t change the fact that Nynaeve is quite correct. Nicely done, girl.


And here’s where we stop for the nonce, mes amies! And now I will have king cake, and you will be sad you don’t live in the coolest city ever, but I will make it up to you by returning with more Reread-y goodness next Tuesday! Whoo!


The Monster of the Week is Time Itself in The X-Files: “Home Again”

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The X-Files Home Again

It’s wonderful to see that after that clunky first episode, the rest of the new X-Files season has been strong. Honestly, last week’s “Mulder and Scully Meet the Were-Monster” (minus that awful transphobic joke) and this week’s “Home Again” are among the best episodes the show has ever produced. Where last week focused on Mulder and his evolving quest for THE TRUTH, this week brought us down to a human level, as Scully dealt with personal tragedy.

This week’s cold open is perfect. A heartless bureaucrat is using a firehose to drive homeless people away from a camp in West Philadelphia. After saying some heartless things, he goes up to his office, and we see the remaining homeless people scramble into their tents as a rumbling comes up the street. A garbage truck pulls up, and a giant, terrifying man-shaped thing appears. The bureaucrat doesn’t stand a chance. As he gibbers away to 911, the creatures comes in and literally rips him apart.

Cue titles.

God I’ve missed this show.

“Home Again” has two threads woven together with perfect precision. When Mulder and Scully arrive to investigate, Mulder is just beginning to float some crazy theories when Scully gets a call from her brother: Their mother has just suffered a heart attack. Scully rushes back to D.C. to be with her, and Mulder stays on the case.

It’s simple: Our Cold Open Bureaucrat is employed by an Even More Heart-Free Bureaucrat, who wants to force the homeless people into an empty hospital so he can develop the property. He’s being opposed by a member of the Buck County School Board (possibly the most terrifying monster of the week yet) who puts up a compassionate front, before revealing that she just doesn’t want those people living so close to the school. What if one of them offers drugs to one of the upper-middle-class students? What if a child notices them and starts thinking really hard about class inequality? Won’t somebody please think of the children of the 1%?

Meanwhile, Mulder notices that he has a gooey Band-Aid stuck to his shoe, and that there’s creepy graffiti on the wall outside Lesser Heartless Bureaucrat’s office. Hmm… a quick investigation reveals that the homeless community refers to the creature as Trashman and that he stands up for them when no one else will.

We check in with Scully at the hospital. Her mother has only asked for Charlie, the estranged son whom I honestly didn’t remember. Now she’s in a coma, and Scully sits with her, essentially begging her not to go into the light. She tells her that she knows she’s with Ahab and Melissa, but that she and William and Charlie still need her here. This is obviously calling back to the episode “One Breath,” when Scully was in a coma. In her experience she was on a lake, deciding whether to come back to life. She remembers hearing Mulder talking to her, and she believes her mother can hear her now. This is a fascinating scene. Scully is always the strong one, the skeptic, the one making tough decisions, yet here she’s asking her mother to stay for fairly selfish reasons. She’s upset that her mother asked for Charlie instead of her. She’s baffled by the envelope of her mother’s possessions—why was Maggie wearing a quarter on a string? What do these things mean?

And then the final blow comes. William calls from Europe and asks Scully to work out the probability of their mother’s life: Should he bother coming home? Or will she die before he gets back? As Scully listens to this nonsense, someone in another bed dies, and she watches as the body is loaded onto a gurney and taken away. Scully insists William come home. Their mother wanted to be kept alive as long as possible. But immediately after she hangs up she learns that this isn’t the case: Maggie changed her will, without consulting Scully, and is now listed as DNR. Scully now has to confront not only her mother’s death, but the idea that the woman had a life and intentions that she did not share with her children.

Back in Philadelphia, the Bucks County School Board Member fastidiously disposes of her trash in a variety of trash compactors. She is then rent asunder by Trashman as Petula Clark’s “Downtown” blasts on the soundtrack. Well played. We get lots of close-ups of gooey horror, maggots, and a hefty dose of ironic punishment. One interesting thing to note here is that we don’t see the woman’s murder. We see men brutally killed in this episode, but they cut away in this scene.

Mulder gets to D.C. just as Scully’s reached her breaking point. They sit together beside her mother:

Scully: “Back in the day, didn’t we ever come across the ability to wish someone back to life?”
Mulder: “I invented it. When you were in the hospital.”
Scully: “You’re a dark wizard, Mulder.”

Charlie calls, and Scully puts him on speaker so her mother can hear. She regains consciousness just long enough to see Mulder and say, “My son is named William, too,” and then she’s gone. Scully sees the gurney coming, turns to Mulder, and insists that she needs to work right now.

This is it right here. This is the hero for two generations now: She has suffered so many losses over her life, but rather than give up and collapse in tears on the floor, she’ll go back to work. She can process her grief later, but right now she needs to face a monster. And Mulder, co-hero, nods in understanding and goes after her.

The X-Files Home Again

The two of them engage in some hot flashlight action and track Banksy Trashman down to a basement room. There are more creatures running around, but they don’t attempt to hurt the agents, and Trashman himself is a loopy but well-meaning street artist. He’s trying to give the homeless and forgotten a voice through his art, not through violence, but one of his paintings, the creature with a Band-Aid over his nose, came to Trashman, and didn’t disappear. He comes alive and seeks vengeance seemingly because Trashman allowed violent intentions to creep into his mind while he was painting:

“There must be spirits and souls floating all around us, looking for homes…this is what came to me in my dreams. He thinks the violence is what he was made to do.”

Mulder is used to this sort of thing and listens quietly until Trashman claims the creature is tulpa – a magical emanation that can take form through concentrated thought in Buddhism – at which point Mulder takes issue with Trashman. A real tulpa would never hurt anyone, and that the vengeance-seeking creature is a Theosophist mistranslation of a Tibetan Buddhist idea. Scully, who is meditating on her mother, Charlie, and her own son, is more direct: “You’re responsible,” she says to Trashman. “You’re just as bad as the people that you hate.”

Damn.

Later that night, the Band-Aid Golem turns up at the hospital, and Heartless Bureaucrat Number One meets his doom. I couldn’t muster up too much sympathy—he took homeless people’s dogs away and sent them to shelters, come on—and Trashman splits, but not before another painting appears, implying that Trashman will soon reckon with his creation. The agents, having failed to solve another case, retire to a beach with Scully’s mother’s ashes. And yes, it looks extremely similar to the lake in “One Breath.” Scully allows herself to grieve, but also thinks she understands her mother: Maggie wanted to check on Charlie specifically before she left because of their estrangement. She was responsible for him in a way that she doesn’t need be for her other children. In the same way, she was trying to remind Mulder and Scully that they need to be responsible for their child. And here of course is where Scully breaks down again. She believes that Mulder will find all of his answers someday, but her own questions center on William:

“I can’t help but think of him, Fox. My mysteries—I’ll never have answered. I’ll never know if he thinks of me, too.”

MulderScully

This was a great episode. If they had chosen to focus on the X-File alone, it would have been a classic: X-File as social commentary, with a dash of moral exploration, and just a hint of religious implication. Instead, as in last week’s Mulder and Scully meeting with the Were-Monster, the Files serves as backdrop for a much more poignant story. While “M&SMtW” was actually about Mulder’s mid-life crisis, this is actually about Scully taking the terrible final step into adulthood. In losing her mother, she has to face up to her own choices about motherhood, and accept that while she can believe that Mulder will find THE TRUTH, she may never know the truth about her son William. Does he miss her? Does he know that she loves him? Does he think she treated him like trash to be thrown away? These scenes could have gone straight into drivel, but Gillian Anderson is flawless as ever.

Thematically, this episode is absurdly strong. The Band-Aid Golem comes to punish those who would treat humans like trash. Fine. But the more interesting emotional question is: Which Scullys have done that? Maggie Scully and Charlie Scully haven’t spoken in years because they threw their relationship away. Now Maggie wants to repair it when it’s nearly too late. William Scully just wants to talk about the DNR, and only plans to fly home if Dana can guarantee that Maggie will still be alive when he gets there. Dana gave her William up, but was that throwing him away or protecting him? Finally, Dana first wants to keep her mother alive at all costs, then watches in horror as a corpse is loaded onto a gurney and taken away, and then finally rejects the same gurney when it comes for her mother. She is horrified by the idea of a human body being carted off like so much garbage, but is it any worse than prolonging someone’s life against their will? Isn’t that just treating their choice as something to be ignored and thrown away, too?

The mirroring use of the hospital is also excellent. A place that should be a site of healing is instead a grim nightmare, where people either die alone and out of site, or, in this week’s case, a hospital is used as a holding pen for unwanted members of society.

There is also the hint that “Home Again” is a reference to the infamous episode “Home,” the Peacock Brothers family hoedown. Now there were some boys who knew how to treat their mother. Here again the notion of the family bond is tested. Mrs. Peacock challenged Scully when they met, telling her that she couldn’t truly understand her, or her family, because she was not a mother. Scully, who has so often been defined by her desire for children, her inability to have them, and her inability to keep them, seemed haunted by that. And now she is haunted again. This is possibly the most gruesome episode since that one. Humans are literally ripped asunder. At a certain point you see a creature holding a decapitated head with part of a spinal cord trailing out of it. (Reader, I confess I might have yelled “Mortal Combat!” at this moment.)

The X-Files has successfully brought its characters and stories into a new era. Mulder and Scully have the fears of older people; they wear their experience on them at all times. Scully asking for just a few more minutes with her mom is miles away from a twenty-years-younger Mulder begging his partner to come out of her coma. Older, hungover Mulder wondering if he’d wasted his life last week is a very different beast than fired-up, super-paranoid genius Spooky Mulder questioning whether he wants to spend his life on a quest that might cost him his life. The hunt for Samantha was much more thrilling than the depressing obsession with William.  This was never always a fun show, and I’m pleased to see that the writers, for the most part, are honoring the characters we love.

Leah Schnelbach has never wanted to hug Scully more than while watching this episode. Come talk to her about Queequeg on Twitter!

Bryan Fuller to Run New Star Trek Television Series

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Star Trek, new series banner

Bryan Fuller has just been named as the showrunner for CBS’ new Star Trek TV series by Variety. Alex Kurtzman will serve as an executive producer along with Fuller and Heather Kadin. If you know your Trek history, you’ll also know that Fuller (Pushing Daisies, Hannibal, the upcoming American Gods) got his start in television writing for both Deep Space Nine and Voyager. He is also responsible for some excellent television outside of the Trek universe, which makes the announcement pretty darned exciting. As to what we can expect about where the new show will fall in-universe? Here’s what Variety had to say:

The creative plan is for the series to introduce new characters and civilizations, existing outside of the mythology charted by previous series and the current movie franchises.

That could mean a lot of things. Clearly, we’re getting a brand new crew, but that particular wording doesn’t make it clear whether or not this is a total reboot. Possibly this new series will explore a different time frame, or a different area of the galaxy than Trek fans are accustomed to. It will air its first episode in January 2017 on CBS before moving to exclusively to CBS’ digital subscription service.

Fuller teased his ideas about a Trek show back in 2013, saying that he loved the idea of possibly setting a show on the U.S.S. Reliant and also “I want Angela Bassett to be the captain, that’s who I would love to have, you know Captain Angela Bassett and First Officer Rosario Dawson. I would love to do that version of the show and but that’s in the future to be told.” Um, YES. WE WILL WATCH THAT SHOW, BRYAN FULLER.

But even if that’s not in the cards–Star Trek is coming back to TV!

*internally screaming*

New. New Star Trek is happen!

More info and top image on StarTrek.com.

Star Trek The Original Series: “A Private Little War”

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Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

“A Private Little War”
Written by Jud Crucis and Gene Roddenberry
Directed by Marc Daniels
Season 2, Episode 16
Production episode 60345
Original air date: February 2, 1968
Stardate: 4211.4

Captain’s log. The Enterprise has arrived at Neural. Kirk led a planetary survey to the world as a lieutenant thirteen years ago, and he, Spock, and McCoy have beamed down to examine the local flora, which has many spiffy medicinal properties. Spock sees the footprints of a bear-like creature known as the mugato.

Kirk and Spock see three dark-haired locals with flintlock rifles, which surprises Kirk, since the last time he was here, they were a peaceful people whose only weapons were bows and arrows. He also sees four other white-haired locals—including his friend from the last time, Tyree—walking into an ambush. Kirk throws a rock to distract the rifle carriers, but then they give chase. McCoy hears the commotion and calls the Enterprise, but before they can be beamed back up, Spock is shot.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

McCoy, Chapel, and Dr. M’Benga work on Spock in the transporter room, unable to even wait to get him to sickbay. And then the ship goes to red alert—Uhura reports a Klingon ship in orbit. Kirk and Scotty rush to the bridge, where Chekov reports that they moved to the other side of the planet, and Uhura picked up a routine transmission from the Klingon ship that makes no mention of the Enterprise, so they’re safe for now.

Kirk downgrades to yellow alert and orders Chekov to keep the planet between them and the Klingons. The bridge crew speculates madly about how they went from bows and arrows to flintlocks in thirteen years rather than the twelve centuries it took humans.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

McCoy reports to Kirk that Spock needs to heal himself at this point. M’Benga interned in a Vulcan ward, so Kirk can leave Spock under his care while McCoy beams back down with Kirk. McCoy can determine if the Klingons are there for the same reason the Federation was: to use the native flora for medicinal purposes. But if the Klingons have violated the treaty, Kirk needs someone there he trusts as much as he trusts Spock.

Changing into native clothing, they beam down, when they are immediately attacked by a mugato. McCoy manages to hit it with a phaser, but Kirk is bitten—and the mugato bite is poisonous. Unfortunately, the Enterprise is out of range in order to keep hidden from the Klingons. McCoy can keep Kirk stable for a while, but he has no cure.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

They’re found by several of Tyree’s people, and before going unconscious, Kirk says Tyree has a cure. They’re escorted to the encampment, where McCoy keeps him warm in furs and by using his phaser to heat a few rocks until Tyree—who is now the leader of the hill people—returns.

For his part, Tyree and his wife Nona observe the villagers with their “firesticks.” Nona thinks they should obtain such weapons, so they can fight back. But Tyree is optimistic that the villagers will return to their friendly ways. They talk in exposition for a bit, Tyree half-joking that she put a spell on him to make him marry her, her saying that as a kahn-ut-tu woman, men seek women like her to gain power. In truth, she used a local plant as a “love potion,” and she gives him some now to make him lustful for her.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

Their sweet passionate nookie-nookie is interrupted by one of the other hill people who tells them—well, tells her, Tyree is a bit distracted—about Kirk and McCoy.

Nona arrives to see McCoy phasering rocks. She then asks Tyree for everything he can tell her about Kirk—but he promised to be silent, and they became blood brothers. However, Nona is his wife, and she demands to know everything about Kirk, or her remedy for his poison won’t work.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

Chapel holds Spock’s hands while he’s in a healing trance. M’Benga informs her that he’s conscious, but all his mental energy is being focused on healing the damaged tissues, so he can’t communicate. When the readings start to fluctuate, M’Benga tells Spock (who can hear him, even if he can’t acknowledge) that someone will be with him at all times. He then tells Chapel to call him as soon as he wakes up, and also to do whatever he says to do immediately. As it turns out, what he asks is for her to hit him, and after initially refusing, she does so. Spock is cured! Hooray!

Nona uses a local root, her own blood, chants, and a ridiculous dance to cure Kirk. It seems to work, as Kirk wakes up long enough to say he’s tired and fall asleep. McCoy takes the root away and sees that there’s no sign of the bite—not even a scar. The cut on Nona’s hand is healed as well. According to Nona, they have shared blood and he is hers now. According to Tyree, legend says that a man can refuse a woman no wish after that particular ritual.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

The next morning, everyone wakes up, and Tyree and Kirk have a happy reunion. Kirk had hoped that Tyree would find a kahn-ut-tu woman to cure him—Kirk is rather surprised to find out that he married one.

Tyree fills Kirk and McCoy in. The villagers have been making the firesticks for about a year now. Kirk wants to see them, but Nona wishes Kirk to give them phasers. But there’s a more fundamental issue: Tyree refuses to kill under any circumstances. Nona is furious—she thinks it is better to fight than to die.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

Tyree, Kirk, and McCoy sneak into the village. They subdue a guard, and Tyree takes a rifle with him. They find a forge, but also items that couldn’t possibly have been made there, including some industrially produced items.

Apella, the leader of the village, meets with a Klingon, Krell, who shows him a new “improvement” on the rifle, one that will mean fewer misfires, and he promises more improvements on his next visit. Krell brings Apella to the forge, where they find Kirk and McCoy. There’s a donnybrook, and the trio manage to escape the village, despite the locals firing on them.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

Kirk shows the hill people how to use the rifle they’ve confiscated. McCoy can’t believe he’s doing that, worrying that he’s doing what Nona wants, but Kirk says she wants superior weapons, he only wants to give them equal weapons, a balance of power. It’s the only way to preserve both sides. McCoy is justifiably concerned that this will just plunge the planet into an endless war.

Kirk is also concerned that Tyree won’t fight, so he goes to Nona, walking in on her after she’s taken a bath. She uses the love potion on him before he can even start to talk to her. Naturally, Tyree walks in on them right as they smooch. He comes very close to using the rifle on them, then realizes how easy the rifle makes it to kill the people he loves, and he leaves, casting the rifle aside.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

After Tyree leaves, the mugato attacks, but Kirk is too smitten to even notice. The mugato goes after Nona, and eventually Kirk regains his senses enough to phaser the mugato. But he’s still woozy, and so Nona clubs him with a rock and takes the phaser.

Tyree stomps angrily into the encampment, saying he left the rifle behind. McCoy points out that leaving such a weapon just lying around is a really bad idea, so he takes them back to find a woozy, phaser-less Kirk.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

Nona finds four villagers, and offers to give them a phaser. All they see is a sexy kahn-ut-tu woman, and they try to gang-rape her. Tyree, Kirk, and McCoy see that, and the villagers assume it’s a trap and kill Nona. A massive fight breaks out, and Kirk has to stop Tyree from beating one villager to death with a rock, while McCoy is winged by a rifle shot.

Tyree is devastated by Nona’s death, and demands that Kirk give him more flintlocks. Tyree intends to kill all the villagers for what they did to his wife.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

Kirk orders a beam-out, saying he’ll need Scotty to fashion some flintlocks—or, waxing poetic, serpents for the Garden of Eden.

Fascinating. Vulcans can heal themselves by putting themselves into a coma and focusing all their energy on the process. When they come out of it, they need to be slapped a lot. Either that, or Spock is just into that kind of thing…

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

I’m a doctor not an escalator. McCoy gets to play Kirk’s conscience, and without Spock around, it’s basically all shouting. He also doesn’t check to see if anybody’s watching him phaser rocks, which pretty much leads to the entire episode’s conflict.

Hailing frequencies open. Uhura shows off, knowing the answer to how long it was between the development of the bow and arrow and the flintlock. She also eavesdrops on the Klingons to determine that they don’t know they’re there.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

I cannot change the laws of physics! Scotty walks in on Chapel beating up the first officer, and yanks her off him. M’Benga comes in then and finishes the job of tenderizing Spock’s face while a confused Scotty looks on. Only after Spock fully wakes up does M’Benga explain what’s happening, and Scotty mostly just looks really really really confused.

It’s a Russian invention. Because Sulu isn’t in this one (George Takei was still filming The Green Berets), Chekov has to stand by the helm to say how they’re moving, since the helmsman is an extra who doesn’t have any lines.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

No sex, please, we’re Starfleet. Nona believes in seducing men via hallucinogenics, apparently not trusting her bare midriff, groovy eye shadow, and impressive cleavage to do the trick.

Channel open. “What are you doing, woman?”
Disappointingly, this is not something anyone says to Nona, but rather what Scotty says to Chapel when he sees her giving Spock a beat-down.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

Welcome aboard. Ned Romero plays Krell—he’ll return to Trek on two of the spinoffs, playing Native characters in both TNG‘s “Journey’s End” and Voyager‘s “The Fight.” Michael Witney plays Tyree, Nancy Kovack plays Nona, and Arthur Bernard plays Apella.

Stuntman and animal impersonator Janos Prohaska plays the mugato, his only billed role, though he previously played a couple of the background aliens in “The Cage” and created the Horta for “The Devil in the Dark.” He’ll return in “The Spectre of the Gun” as Yarnek.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

Booker Bradshaw debuts the role of M’Benga in this episode; he’ll reprise the role in “That Which Survives.” Also back are recurring regulars Majel Barrett, James Doohan, Nichelle Nichols, and Walter Koenig.

Trivial matters: The original story was by Don Ingalls, but he used the pseudonym “Jud Crucis” (a play on “judicium crucisaccording to Ingalls in a Starlog interview) by way of objecting to Gene Roddenberry’s script.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

The mugato was called “gumato” in the script, but it was change to accommodate DeForest Kelley’s complete inability to say “gumato” properly. The closing credits still say “gumato,” as does James Blish’s adaptation in Star Trek 10.

The names of both the planet (Neural) and the Klingon (Krell) come from the script; those names were never spoken aloud on screen. The treaty that the Klingons have violated is the Organian Peace Treaty, established in “The Trouble with Tribbles,” and which was signed following “Errand of Mercy.”

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

Jeff Mariotte wrote a novel sequel to this episode taking place shortly before The Motion Picture entitled Serpents in the Garden.

The events of this episode are shown from the Klingon perspective in the third issue of the IDW comics miniseries Blood Will Tell by Scott & David Tipton and David Messina.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

M’Benga will go on to appear in numerous pieces of tie-in fiction (with a variety of first names, including Geoffrey and Jabilo), most notably in The Vulcan Academy Murders and The IDIC Epidemic by Jean Lorrah, One Small Step by Susan Wright, The Lost Years by J.M. Dillard, Traitor Winds by L.A. Graf, Death’s Angel by Kathleen Sky, and the Vanguard novel series by David Mack, Dayton Ward, and Kevin Dilmore. Alternate universe versions of M’Benga also appeared in Mirror Universe: The Sorrows of Empire by Mack and The Tears of Eridanus by Michael Schuster & Steve Mollmann in Myriad Universes: Shattered Light.

To boldly go. “Touch me again, and this small box will kill you.” Allegedly, one of the objections Don Ingalls had to Gene Roddenberry’s script that led to his choosing a pseudonym was that his original had more overt Vietnam references. Reading that, I shudder at the notion that somewhere out there in the ether is a version of this story that’s even less subtle than the one that aired, which I wouldn’t have believed possible.

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

In the abstract, this has the potential to be a decent Vietnam allegory, with two larger powers messing around with a primitive planet. But the analogy doesn’t entirely work here, because Kirk’s solution makes absolutely no sense.

Actually, before we get to that: what the Klingons are doing makes no sense, either. The plan is obviously to annex Neural and make it part of the empire. Why are they doing it so slowly and subtly? If it’s to not draw attention—well, okay, but that ship has sailed once the Enterprise shows up. But what are they gaining by this action? Do they want to start a war that will wipe the people out so they can move in without resistance? If that’s the case, why something so primitive as flintlocks? What’s the endgame?

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

And now that the Enterprise has shown up, why is Kirk’s solution to arm Tyree’s people? They go on at great length about how the Klingons have violated the treaty, but you know what you do when a major power violates a treaty? You report it to your government. Sure, they can’t report to Starfleet right away because they don’t want the Klingons to know they’re there, but McCoy recorded everything in that forge. They now have evidence that the Klingons have broken the treaty. So instead of adding more guns to a situation that already has too many of them, which never ever makes it better, why not leave orbit and inform the admiralty, who will inform the Federation Council, who will call the Klingon Empire on their bullshit?

On top of that, we’ve got all the nonsense with the kahn-ut-tu women and Nona’s ridiculous healing gyrations. It’s not as bad as “Friday’s Child,” at least, but it’s still pretty offensive. Oh, and I love how the good people (Kirk’s friend, generally peaceful) have white hair and the bad people (enjoy killing, work with Klingons, gang-rape Nona) have black hair. Symbolism!

Star Trek, Original Series season 2, A Private Little War

I was hoping to at least enjoy the mugato (I even have a little stuffed mugato on my desk), but man, does that creature not translate to HD well.

 

Warp factor rating: 3

Next week: “The Gamesters of Triskelion”

Keith R.A. DeCandido will be at Farpoint 2016 this weekend in Timonium, Maryland, alongside fellow Trek scribes David Gerrold, David Mack, Peter David, Michael Jan Friedman, Dave Galanter, Howard Weinstein, Robert Greenberger, Aaron Rosenberg, Glenn Hauman, Allyn Gibson, Richard C. White, and Steven H. Wilson; Klingon language creator Marc Okrand; actors Sean Maher and John Morton; and tons more. Keith will be doing panels, a practical self-defense workshop, autographings, a reading, and also performing with both Prometheus Radio Theatre (Friday night) and Boogie Knights (Saturday morning). His full schedule can be found here.

Shaking It Off: The Magicians, “The World in the Walls”

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The Magicians The World in the Walls

For three episodes, The Magicians has been tearing through plot like it’s running out of time, which is funny, since it’s already been renewed for a second season. “The World in the Walls” slows things down a notch, and also pulls off the rare feat of making a “what if you’re actually just crazy” plot make sense within the story’s larger picture. Also, there’s a lot of Penny and his hatred of fully buttoned shirts, which is great.

Spoilers follow!

Quentin apparently isn’t much of a morning person. The episode opens on him waking up, and it takes him a few long moments to realize that, while the room is the same shape, everything is different, from the contents of the drawers to his stuffed-bunny-hugging roommate. One thing carries over: The Fillory books are stacked on his bedside table.

104 Magicians-Quentin1

Outside his room, everything is exactly what you’d expect from a half-baked mental hospital set, and Quentin is pretty sure that’s just what it is. “It’s a bad collage,” he tells the doctor—the same one from the first episode—when she takes him into her office (the dean’s office) to talk about why he’s there. Eliot, disheveled and desperate for happy pills, is a patient; Penny is on staff and responsible for Quentin getting in trouble; Alice is there, too, with her own version of unreality. It involves throwing herself at Quentin, which is, by that point, the third or fourth clue that we aren’t in Kansas anymore.

But the biggest clue is Julia, who comes to visit, telling Quentin about Yale and her engagement to James. Desperate, Q tries to do a spell for her, but she doesn’t see the tiny fireworks he shoots off. (That would be a fun trick at parties.) On her way out, Julia says, ruefully, “I wanted to see the fireworks.”

He never said they were fireworks.

104 Magicians-ShakeItOff

Quentin sets about trying to break out of the spell, and he’s actually fairly resourceful about it. At music therapy, not-Penny begs the class not to sing that one song that gets stuck in his head, and Quentin realizes that’s the key to getting real-Penny’s attention: pissing him off. This results in the most convincingly off-key Taylor Swift singalong I can imagine seeing on television, complete with sloppy choreography. And it’s a singalong with a point! Before long, Penny bursts into Quentin’s spell-dream to yell at him, again, for his taste in music. And upon discovering that the version of himself in Quentin’s head is a total stereotype, he pauses, mid-dream, to call Quentin out for it in gloriously Penny fashion.

The Magicians The World in the Walls

The show doesn’t linger on this—Penny tells him to stop singing the damn song; Quentin explains that he did it on purpose, and please, Penny, help; Penny wakes up at Brakebills and realizes something is really very wrong—because the point has been made. Inside Quentin’s head, everyone appears the way Quentin chooses to see them, and everything he sees is colored by his own self-interest, his flaws and biases and desires and terrors. He’s caught in a feedback loop of his worst fears, and by inviting Penny in, he exposes himself, including the ugly side. It’s a smart way to show Quentin’s self-involvement, and having Penny call him out on it is even smarter. Even if you could explain away his snit at Julia last week, there’s no more ducking the fact that Quentin kind of sucks.

Once Penny is involved, the show finally drops all pretense that the spell is reality, and gives us its source: In Brooklyn, Marina and Julia are coming out of some “high-end designer cooperative magic.” Julia, presumably still pissed about their last encounter, thinks it’s just to mess with Quentin, but Marina, deeply unconcerned, doesn’t think he’ll escape their spell. To her, it’s just step one of a longer game—one that involves getting into Brakebills and stealing back the magical memories they took from her when she was expelled. Wait, what?

The Magicians The World in the Walls

There’s so much to unpack in the last twenty minutes of this episode that I wish they could’ve gotten the is-it-real-or-not part out of the way faster; the change of pace was refreshing, but everything has to race back to normal speed for the last act: Penny, Eliot, and Kady find unconscious Quentin and take him to Dean Fogg, who instructs another magician to drop the wards on the school (the entire school!) so they can summon a creepy magical scorpion to help break Quentin out of the dream-trap. When it gets in, so do Marina and Julia, who has a crisis of conscience when Kady tells her Q hasn’t woken up yet.

Everything snaps together just in time: Quentin unwinds the spell from the inside with the help of a story from Fillory, the moral of which is, conveniently, “Stop playing games and live your darn life.” (From the outside, it takes another assist from Penny, who helps even though he presumably would like to clock Quentin). Marina magically whisks Julia out of the dean’s office—only to use her regained magical skills to burn Julia’s hedge-witch stars and drop her, alone, on an empty street in the middle of nowhere.

The Magicians The World in the Walls

All this raises a ton of questions. How long has Marina been planning this? Did she take Julia under her wing because she somehow knew she had a connection at Brakebills? Why didn’t she just use the spell on Kady? Did she not trust that Fogg would drop the wards to save Kady’s life, but would for Quentin’s? How would she know that? What does she have over Kady, anyway? Why is Fillory so useful to Quentin, and why does Jane Chatwin keep helping him? Is there a story from Fillory that will neatly help solve every problem Quentin’s going to have this season?

If there’s a real weakness to the plot, it’s that—like Quentin!—it doesn’t pay enough attention to Julia. A large part of the reason she messes with Quentin’s head is because she’s mad as a bag of cats about how Q treated her last week, but we don’t see any of that; we just see her being manipulated by Marina. (Probably not a coincidence that Kady refers to Marina as a “psycho” while everyone’s trying to rescue Q from his nightmare mental ward.) The show is, for the most part, pulling off a really difficult balancing act: It’s making everything about Quentin while simultaneously asking us to question why it’s about Quentin. Why is it about the neurotic guy who needs to be reminded that we make the webs we’re in? Why is it about the guy who needs rescuing, and not the one who is vital to the rescue, even as he gets insulted in the process? Why isn’t it about the woman who could trap her cruel best friend with her mind?

The Magicians The World in the Walls

The reason continues to be Fillory, though we still don’t really know why. The fictional world is vital to Quentin’s escape, which is made up of equal parts Fillory fable, Brakebills power, and Penny’s particular skillset—two things he clings to, and one he needs, whether he wants to admit it or not.

What we do know is that Quentin, genuinely shaken, has a rare moment of certainty; he tells Fogg, “I don’t need to be taught what magic is or isn’t; I need to be taught magic so I can decide what it is or isn’t—for me.” (Fogg concedes that this is “almost” well put, and ignores how typically self-centered it is.) And we know that Julia has had everything taken away from her again—but there was so much more to take, this time.

Molly Templeton was slightly surprised to find she missed Margo this week, and, like Margo, is excited for next week’s welters games.

Oprah Winfrey Resurrects Book Club for Book That Could Resurrect Her?

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Oprah Winfrey Presents the Necronomicon

Weird Tales Magazine shared this heartwarming image of Oprah Winfrey welcoming the Necronomicon Ex Mortis into her Book Club. And no, it doesn’t matter that the Book Club was closed a few years ago – silly mortal! The Necronomicon is bound by neither time nor space.

Soon she be known simply as the letter O and the cosmos will scream of her might.

Breaking Water

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breakingwater_full

Krishna is quite unsettled when he bumps into a woman’s corpse during his morning bath in Kolkata’s Hooghly River, yet declines to do anything about it–after all, why should he take responsibility for a stranger? But when the dead start coming back to life en masse, he rethinks his position and the debate around how to treat these newly risen corpses gets a lot more complicated. In this story from Indrapramit Das, a journalist strives to understand Krishna’s actions and what they say about the rest of society and how we treat our dead.


1. Breaking Water

 

At first, Krishna thought the corpse was Ma Durga herself. A face beneath sun-speckled ripples—to his eyes a drowned idol, paint flaking away and clay flesh dissolving. But it was nothing so sacred as a discarded goddess. The surface broke to reveal skin that was not painted on, long soggy hair that had caught the detritus of the river like a fisherman’s net. Krishna had seen his mother’s dead body and his father’s, but this one still startled him.

Krishna dragged the body from the shallows to the damp mud of the bank, shaking off the shivers. He covered her pickled body with his lungi, draping it over her face. He returned to the winter-chilled waters of the Hooghly naked and finished his bath. The sun emerged over the rooftops of Kolkata, a peeled orange behind the smoky veil of monoxides, its twin crawling over the river. Morning reflections warmed the tarnished turrets of Howrah Bridge in the distance, glistening off the sluggish stream of early traffic crossing it.

Other bathers came and went, only glancing at the body. When Krishna returned to the bank, a Tantric priest was crouched over the dead woman. The priest, smeared white as a ghost with ash paste, looked up at Krishna.

“Is this your wife?” the priest asked.

“No,” said Krishna. “I don’t have one.”

“Then maybe you should be her husband.”

“What’re you on about?” Krishna snapped.

“She needs someone, even in death.”

“Maybe she already has a husband.”

“If she does, he probably argued with her, then beat her dead, maybe raped her while doing that, and tossed her in the river. Shakti and Shiva, female and male, should be at play in the universe. One should not weaken the other. This woman has been abandoned by man,” said the priest, gently touching the dark bruises on her face, throat and chest. Krishna thought about this. The priest waited.

“Fine. I’ll take her to the ghat and see her cremated,” said Krishna.

The priest nodded placidly. “You will make a good husband one day,” he said.

“Your faith in strangers is foolish,” muttered Krishna. Not to mention his sense of investigative protocol, Krishna didn’t say. The priest smiled, accepting this rebuke and walking away. Krishna didn’t know much about how washed-up, likely murder victims were handled, but he was sure just cremating them without a thought wasn’t how it usually went.

Still.

Krishna looked at the corpse. If he left her, someone would eventually call the police, and they would take her to a refrigerated morgue where her frightened soul would freeze. Her killer would remain free, the case unsolved, because since when did anyone really care about random women tossed into rivers? He thought of his mother cooking silently by lantern light, her face swollen.

He remembered asking a policeman on the street to take his father to jail for hitting his mother. He was laughed at. He remembered playing cricket on the street with the other slum boys, doing nothing to stop the beatings, waiting years until his father’s penchant for cigarettes and moonshine ended them instead. Not that it mattered, since his mother faithfully followed him not long after.

“Why don’t you take her to the ghat, you self-righteous bastard? You’re as much a man as me,” Krishna said aloud, looking at the priest, who was sitting quietly by the water. He was too far away to hear Krishna, not that Krishna cared. He shook his fist at the priest for good measure, then he peeled his lungi off the body, leaving the woman naked again. Sullen, he threw the lungi in his bucket and tied another around his waist. He always brought an extra in case he lost one in the water. He kissed his fingertips and touched them to the body’s clammy forehead, nervously keeping them away from her parted blue lips. For five minutes he sat next to her, as if in prayer, wondering how he might take her to the cremation ghats. Did the priest expect him to call a hearse, pretend to be a husband, and have her driven there? He shook his head and thought some more.

The priest had disappeared, but Krishna stayed there and thought and thought. Then he shook his head, got up, picked up his bucket and walked away. The sun had risen higher, and the crowds were beginning to gather like flies by the golden water. They looked at the woman lying there on the bank, but, blinded by her nakedness, by the ugly bruises that painted it, they all looked away and went about their day. They ignored her until the moment she got up and started walking across the shore, clumsy but sure, water-wrinkled soles sinking into the trail of footsteps Krishna had left in the mud.

Even then, they didn’t look for long, save for one man, who cried out in surprise from afar. An unsurprising reaction, since he’d just seen what he had presumed to be a dead body crawl a few paces, stand up and totter across the mud like a drunk madwoman. But no one else reacted, and he refused to let people think that he too was mad, so he pretended his cry was a prelude to his singing while he bathed, and tried to ignore the sight of the naked woman. Some others left the ghat in haste. The rest of the men took the first observer’s cue, looking away from the woman on the shore as they bathed, just as they would look away from a beggar with stumps for limbs hobbling across the ghat. She had gotten up, so she couldn’t be dead. Simple as that. Whatever her problem, naked women didn’t belong here, where men bathed, parading their lack of shame.

In the morning air, flies clothed the woman. Hesitant crows perched on her shoulders and head forming a feathered black headdress, bristling with flutter. She gave no regard to her beaked guests nor their violence as they haltingly pecked at her flesh, somewhat confused by her movements, but not enough to keep from tasting her ripe deadness.

The spectators stole quick glances at the woman while studiously ignoring her, horrified. This was a very mad woman. Undoubtedly sex-crazed, too, judging from her lack of modesty. Probably drunk. Crazy, for sure. And a junkie, and homeless, and a prostitute. So filthy that the birds were pecking at her. So high, she couldn’t feel the pain. Surely someone would call the police.

Carrying her hungry crows unwitting, she staggered on down Babu Ghat, wandering by the slimy stone steps that led to the rest of the city, as if unsure of how to climb them. She eventually found the garbage dump down the ghat and started eating from it.

 

Next morning, when Krishna heard that the dead were waking up all over the city—maybe even the state—his first thought was of the dead woman he had left behind on the ghat. He was at a paan shop on Gariahat, near the apartment building where he cooked meals for a few middle-class families in their posh homes, in their fancy kitchens with ventilation fans and shining tiles and big fridges. He was idly spitting betel juice at the footpath when the paanwallah mentioned history happening elsewhere in the city, pointing to a tiny television on top of his little Coke storage fridge.

The paanwallah seemed bemused by the news on the TV, not quite believing it. “No wonder traffic’s hell today,” he muttered, scratching his whitening moustache. “All morning, this honking, I’m going deaf.” He waved at the street and its cacophony of cars, buses, lorries and auto rickshaws stuck bumper-to-bumper like so many dogs sniffing each other’s exhaust pipes.

Krishna believed the news instantly. It couldn’t be coincidence that he’d discovered a corpse during his morning bath the week corpses started getting up and walking.

His second thought—accompanied by a bit of guilt for it not being the first—was of his mother; then, with some measure of fear, his father. But his parents were cremated and gone, safe from this mass resurrection, unless ash itself was stirring into life to fill the wind with dark ghosts. He also had to look up at the sky to make sure there were no clouds of ashen ghosts raging across it. Thankfully, there was only sunlight suspended in winter smog, pecked with the black flecks of crows.

The realization that his parents couldn’t return came as a relief to Krishna, since he didn’t know exactly how he’d have dealt with such a thing, especially after they’d been gone for two decades. The surge of elation and dread that rose from that thought filled his chest so powerfully that he had to steady himself against the counter of the paan stall.

Then he thought, I have to find the woman. That his parents couldn’t possibly come back to life only bolstered this thought. Surely his employers wouldn’t hold it against him if he missed a day, under the circumstances. In fact, Krishna suspected they’d be more preoccupied than most by this turn of events. He suspected that nobody living in those apartments really believed in God, despite their indoor shrines, and what better evidence of Bhagavan than this? It would throw them into confusion. Money and work be damned. For a day, at least.

“I found a dead woman. I left her; I have to find her,” Krishna said to the paanwallah, who was fiddling with his paan leaves, as if proud of their very appetizing green. Then Krishna ran off. “Hai-oh, that fellow’s looking in the wrong places for a wife,” the paanwallah mumbled.

 

As Krishna bussed across the city and back toward Babu Ghat, he saw the world as it always was but now a different place. The air you breathed felt different when you knew the dead walked around you. The traffic was even worse off than usual because of the confusion. The police were everywhere, their white uniforms ubiquitous among the crowds on the streets. Krishna heard snatches of conversations in different languages, all talking about the same thing. As sunlight shuttered across the smeared minibus windows, Krishna held his breath against the stink of sweaty passengers pushing up against him and listened. He heard wealthy students and youngsters babble incomprehensible English with unholy excitement, repeating one word, “zambi,” which was clearly what they were calling the risen dead. Krishna heard how bodies were rising out of the Hooghly and shambling in diverse but slow-moving crowds across the ghats of Kolkata. How they were falling—half-eaten by birds—from the Parsi Towers of Silence like suicides jumping to their new lives. How the Muslim, Christian and Jewish cemeteries were filled with the faint thumps and groans of the trapped dead, too weak to escape caskets and heavy packed earth. How medical schools and hospitals and police morgues were now dormitories for live cadavers kicking in their steel chambers. How these places were reporting the highest number of corpse-bites in the whole city because of staff convincing themselves that the chilled bodies they were freeing were poor souls mistaken for dead and frozen to drooling stupidity. He felt like he was having a panic attack, so filled was his head with this confusion of voices.

 

By the time Krishna got back to Babu Ghat early in the evening, the riverside was packed, like it had been during the immersion of idols after pujas. A column of crows towered above the ghat. The birds wheeled over the parade of the dead, taking turns swooping down and pecking at them. The police were keeping the walking corpses within the ghat by tossing lit (and technically illegal) crackers near their soggy feet every time they tried to wander up the steps. That seemed to do the job, sending the dead staggering back towards the water, though never back inside. Strings of bright red crackers hung from police belts like candy. Some of them held riot shields. In their hands were lathis that they swung in panic if the dead came near their barricade of live bodies. Their hatred for these creatures, these once-humans, was immediate and visceral. After all, every walking corpse on that ghat was a remnant of crimes they’d never solved or missing persons they never found.

Krishna witnessed the resurrection with nauseous excitement.

The Hooghly had disgorged the dead as if they were its children, all wrestling into the sunlight from a giant, polluted birth canal. They shone like infants fresh from the womb, swollen not with fat but water and gas. All stripped naked as the day they were born by water and time. Fifteen, twenty? Could they swim? Had they simply walked on the river’s bottom till they came upon this bank, all the while breathing water through their now-amphibious mouths? He was shocked that there had been that many unknown people lying murdered, drowned or mistakenly killed at the bottom of the Hooghly.

Some were only days old, looking almost alive but for their slack faces like melting clay masks, their lethal wounds and bruises, their paled and discoloured skin, their jellied eyes and the sometimes lovely frills of clinging white crustaceans in their hair, the tiny flickers of fish leaping from their muddy mouths. Others were black and blue, bloated into terrifying caricatures of their living counterparts, who watched in droves from behind the lines of fearful policemen at the top of the ghat steps. Fresh or old, all these dead men and women wading back to the world were united by the ignominy of their ends, un-cremated and tossed into the tea-brown waters of the Hooghly to be forgotten. Most, Krishna noticed, were women. All had crows as their punishing familiars, which clung to shoulders and heads as they tore flesh away with their beaks.

Krishna searched for a familiar face amongst the dead. He felt uneasy, not at the sight of the resurrected dead but at the roiling crowd he had to push through to witness this miracle, the street dogs biting and barking amid them to try and get to the corpses, only to be beaten back by the police. Some people lowed like animals, spoke in tongues or pretended to, blabbered prophecy; priests and sadhus and charlatans chanting to eager flocks of potential followers, many calling for the immediate destruction of these men and women who had been reincarnated into their own bodies—a sign, surely, that they were evil, condemned to rebirth as creatures even lower than the lowest of animals because of some terrible karmic debt. It made Krishna uneasy, scared, even angry. Clearly, these people rising from the waters had been wronged, had suffered the injustice of the earthly world, not caused them.

It was a miracle, Krishna told himself. It had to be.

Why, then, did this feel like the end of the world, with the police in their cricket pads and riot shields, the crowds coagulating into a mob, these terribly wronged souls blessed with new life being herded like cursed cattle?

The loud braying of horns and the glare of headlights swept across the crowd as two police vans with grills on their windows ploughed slowly through the crowd, nudging the spectators aside. Men in toxic yellow hazard suits got out. They held long poles with metal clamps, which Krishna had often seen dogcatchers use to grab strays off the streets. They were going to shove the resurrected into vans and drive them away, quarantine them somewhere. And then what? They could do anything to them: destroy them, imprison them. If the world knew about them from the news, they probably wouldn’t burn them, however much these policemen might want that. But if they took them away, they would be subject to any and all injustices that scared people could dream up.

As he was thinking this through, Krishna’s eyes caught the woman he had found yesterday. She was right there on the ghat. She was a little worse for wear, having spent a day doing whatever she’d been doing. But she was here and still . . . well, alive, he supposed. Walking with her resurrected sisters and brothers. Clearly, she had gotten away with being dead and walking around before the rest emerged from the water, perhaps because she’d looked somewhat alive when she washed up. No different from any wretched, broken beggar wallowing in garbage, to the average bystander.

The catchers made it through the crowd and neared the dead. Their plastic visors smudged them into faceless troopers, their poles spears shoved ahead of them, parting the howling people of Kolkata.

“Oh, god,” Krishna whispered, pushed from side to side by other sweaty shoulders. “God, thank you. I’m sorry I left her. I won’t again. I won’t.”

He shoved and struggled through the crowd, and shouted as loud as he could from behind the line of police. “My wife!”

Several policemen turned their heads and forced him back into the churn of people. He rebounded off the mob, back onto the officers. “I see my wife! Let me through!” he cried out.

They didn’t, but he pushed under their reeking armpits and broke through the line. He felt the sticks lash his back, bruise his shoulder blades, explode over his skin like crackers at the feet of the dead.

My wife. He heard himself. A decision made.

He ran down the crumbling ghat steps, stumbling as the sun sank and sloshed into the waters of the Hooghly. The baying of street dogs and the horns of a million cars stuck on the roads of B.B.D. Bagh rose into the evening, a trumpet sounding the end of an age.

And there she was, her long black hair threaded with garbage, crows on her shoulders. She looked at Krishna. Was there recognition in her eyes? No, she hadn’t even awoken to new life when he found her. And yet. For a moment, Krishna hesitated as all the corpses turned their numb gaze upon him, and the cloud of flies surrounding them surged against him, biting like windblown debris. But his fear of the police behind him was far stronger than his fear of the unknown. They would not follow him into this hell, so he ran forward, not back, his feet sliding on the filthy mud. He ran straight into the outreached arms and lizard-pale eyes of the resurrected, towards the woman who was to be his wife.

They embraced him as if he was one of their own, the flies crawling all over him as if they too had agreed to mark him as dead. Most importantly, she embraced him, peeling back her cold, heavy lips to bare teeth that still clung to purple gums.

 

2. Notes on Infancy

 

I first met Guru Yama when he was taking refuge with his “first wife” at the Kalighat Temple. This was just days after the resurrections became public, and just as it was becoming clear that they might be global, with cadavers reported to be rising up in countries all around the world, including our neighbours Pakistan, China, Bangladesh and Myanmar.

The guru was sitting in the courtyard where goats are sacrificed to Kali. They had closed off the altars from the public, and people were being allowed in one at a time to see him. No cameras. At that point, “Guru Yama” was just a nickname given to him by the news media, but it had caught very quickly. The corpse he’d claimed at Babu Ghat squatted near him. He’d publicly refused, over and over, to hand the cadaver over to the police or any other organization, claiming that it was his wife.

He seemed utterly stunned by the world when I saw him, clinging to the frayed rope tied around the purple neck of his wife as if it were a lifeline. Pierced into the skin of his other arm was an actual lifeline: an IV antibiotic drip on rubber wheels. Twenty-nine people around India had reportedly died from corpse bites left untreated. Each of the bite victims had also consequently become undead. The guru had been bitten but was given rabies and tetanus shots right after. He was younger than I’d expected, maybe even my age—mid-thirties at the most.

Covered in sweat, bandages over the bites his wife and the other corpses had given him, shivering with fever, eyes bloodshot, the guru told me both his life story and the story of his dead wife with stunning candour. For one thing, I didn’t expect him to confess that she wasn’t really his wife, or hadn’t been when he found her. The priests at the temple had conducted an impromptu ceremony after he arrived, though no one was willing to say what that meant. Most temples in the city, the guru said, wouldn’t let them in, declaring the risen dead abominations. He was lucky Kalighat Temple had offered to house him and his wife, as he couldn’t keep her in the basti where he lived. He told me how grateful he was for their help, and also thanked the lorry driver who had transported him and his wife from temple to temple, trailed by crowds looking for something to focus on in this bewildering time.

Though there were no laws in place for the risen dead, the guru considered himself legally bound to the woman he held by a rope leash, who had been dead for at least a week now. Because of that very lack of laws addressing this new world, the police or government couldn’t really dispute his claim, and they had other things to worry about right now, anyway.

Throughout the interview, I watched the guru’s wife with barely suppressed horror as she ate out of the opened rib cage of a goat that had been sacrificed, not for Ma Kali but for her. Or perhaps for both of them. The guru noticed the look on my face.

“She is a woman, just like you,” he said, which made me very uncomfortable. “Don’t be scared of her. You know what it’s like in this world. She asks only for sympathy.”

I tried to hide my unease. The corpse was squatting, much like her human companion, and using her swollen hands and darkening teeth to eat the entrails. It hurt to see the infantile clumsiness of those slowly bloating fingers. I was ready to run, but she never approached or even noticed me. She looked very blue-green, very inhuman, different from what she’d been in the footage from the ghat, embracing and then biting this man who called himself her husband. She looked—as much as I hated to apply that term to a real person who had lived and died—like a zombie. The people outside the temple had told me to wear a surgical mask and rub Vicks VapoRub under my nostrils (and readily sold me both on the spot), but I could still smell her, see the flies around her and the maggots in her nostrils and eyes and mouth.

“It’s good that it’s winter, no? She’d probably be falling apart by now if it were summer,” the guru said, looking at her. He stifled a shudder, wiping cold sweat from his brow. “We also have to make sure the street dogs don’t eat her. Usually, the dogs come in here when the goats are sacrificed, to lick up the blood. Not now, not now; we keep them out. They’d rip her up in minutes. Birds, also—they’re always trying. But humans are the worst.” He shook his head.

“She can’t protect herself anymore. All of these waking dead have been raped, beaten, strangled, stabbed, killed, thrown away. They deserve someone to help them, to take care of them in this new life they’ve been given by God. I’ve told all the news people, and I’ll tell you, that I’ll take care of them if no one else will. Everyone’s calling me Guru for that,” he laughed, eyes wide. “Guru Yama, they’re calling me. I don’t know about that. I don’t want to take the name of a god. I’m just a man.”

“But your parents already gave you the name of a god, Krishna. Is this different?” I asked him.

He seemed startled by this, and I felt bad for bringing up his dead parents. To my relief, he changed the subject.

“It doesn’t matter what they call me, I suppose. What matters is, I’m not afraid of these dead people. When I find somewhere to keep them, I’ll make sure they’re alright. When I am better, I’ll go looking for more before the police take them away and punish them again. Tell everyone. Bring me your dead, and I’ll care for them,” the guru said to me. From the fervent darting of his eyes, I couldn’t tell if he was a charlatan, if he was just looking for fame or up to something more sinister. I didn’t shake his hand, but I did smile at him, maybe in encouragement. I wondered about the rest of those dead people he had left behind at Babu Ghat, later taken away in those vans. It wasn’t the guru’s fault; how many dead could he walk around with?

Before leaving, I asked if I could use what he’d told me to write a story or an article. He gave me his blessing. I left to let his next visitor, whether journalist or would-be follower, see him. I managed to wait till I was out on the streets before vomiting, just a little, into a gutter. I’m not sure anyone in the crowd gathered around the temple even noticed.

I wrote in the midst of a global paradigm shift. I wanted to try and understand one man at that moment, as opposed to the impossibility of an entire world made new. Like anyone and everyone who would fixate on him in the days to come.

It was only afterwards that I thought to look for the identity of that poor dead woman by his side.

 

3. Notes on Maturation

 

The second time I saw Guru Yama, it was to identify his wife and return her to her mother.

I met the widowed mother, who requested I not include her name, at the Barista on Lansdowne. I bought her a plain coffee. As I handed her the cup, I marvelled at the fact that we can still enjoy the privilege of overpriced lattes and mochas while black government vans roam the state for the risen dead. Every time I saw those vans, some shining with the words West Bengal Undead Quarantine fresh-painted on them, I stopped to wonder whether I was remembering something from a movie or actually looking at something real. The cafe was relatively quiet—just a few afternoon customers chatting amid the burbling of espresso machines. But elsewhere in the city, people were striking and rioting to throw stones and claim their own religions and ideologies as responsible or not responsible for this cosmic prank. That very day, there had been a march on Prince Anwar Shah Road, by South City Mall, with fundamentalists of one or many stripes demanding that movies filled with immoral violence and sexuality be removed from the mall’s multiplex immediately in order to end God’s wrathful plague of the waking dead. The puritanical thrive in apocalypses.

The mother is a Hindi teacher at a small school. She took one sip of her coffee out of politeness. I had to ask her, after apologizing for doing so, “Did you recognize your daughter on TV that day?” She looked like she was out of breath or keeping down vomit. After a moment, she nodded. She did recognize her daughter. Of course she did.

I could understand the rest without her saying anything more. Who would want to acknowledge to themselves that their missing daughter was on TV, on the news, in real life, a walking corpse? That was too many impossibilities to deal with. I couldn’t bear to think what this woman, with her greying hair in a dishevelled bun, wearing an innocuous blue salwar kameez that made her look like any one of my high school teachers, was going through. I felt sick with her, the coffee acrid in my chest. Having had an abortion during college—one of the wisest decisions I’ve ever made—I wanted to say I knew how she felt. But remembering the brutal, almost physical depression of that distant time only furthered my remove from this woman, who had seen her adult daughter walking across the mud of the Hooghly naked as she had been in the first moments of her life, but dead.

I touched the mother’s hand, and she gasped as if terrified. We left the cafe in silence, her cup still full, cold on the table. My heart was racing just from being in the presence of such horror. Outside, the late winter sunlight did nothing to calm it. Thankfully, there were no marchers or black vans on Lansdowne. If we could forget for a moment, it might have felt like any other day in Kolkata, in that bygone world where the dead stayed dead.

 

I drove the mother to Kalighat in my old Maruti, and she slept through the ride. I got the impression sleeping was the easiest way for her to escape human interaction.

The stinking alleyways outside the temple were lined with the guru’s growing mass of followers. Many pressed their palms to the mother as we passed, and some tried to touch her feet. They knew who she was. She walked through them as if in a dream, not responding at all.

I had come prepared this time. We both wore surgical masks, and we’d both rubbed VapoRub under our noses. The hawkers still tried to sell us both.

Guru Yama sat in the courtyard inside, same as before. His wife sat at the altar, like a goddess of death next to her husband, who had been named after the god of death by his followers. She was covered all over in heaped garlands of sweet genda phool, so many that it looked like they were crude, thick robes. Her jaundiced eyes peered from between the petals, and a ballooning hand stuck out of the flowers, the orange circlet of a single marigold in its bulging palm. The smell of the garlands wasn’t enough to mask the stench of the festering body beneath them.

“Greetings,” the guru said to us, his eyelids drooping with antibiotics, with fever, with other drugs, or perhaps just spiritual ecstasy; I couldn’t tell. It had been three weeks since I had last visited him there. He sounded more confident and much calmer. His beard, too, was longer. More befitting a guru, I suppose.

His wife did not move, though the hand holding the flower quivered slightly, as an effigy’s straw limb might in a breeze. From under those flowers came the rattle of air passing through tissues, a soft groan. But she was unnaturally still. It made me realize how jarring it was to see a living animal that didn’t breathe.

“Don’t be afraid of her,” the guru said to the mother. “She is still your daughter. She has bitten me, yes; you see the bandages. But your daughter’s bite has made me feel more alive, Mother. I have infected myself with the poison of the dead so that I may live with them. It strengthens me. It gives me visions. Oh, Mother, don’t cry. Rejoice in this miracle, rejoice. She has a second chance in the world. She can’t talk; but in my visions, in my dreams, she speaks.” These were his first words to his mother-in-law (though certainly a dubious law).

“What does she tell you?” the mother asked, her breathing tortured.

“In my dreams she shows me the man who killed her. She tells me”—he lowers his voice—“the terrible things that were done to her. She shows me the face of the man so that he may be brought to justice if I ever see him in the world.”

Given the smell in the air, the situation we were in, I expected the mother to throw up at the sight of the guru and his wife or react adversely. But she just seemed catatonic as she stared at her daughter sitting on that altar, buried in flowers save for her purple face and bulging eyes. It isn’t accurate to say the mother didn’t react; her cheeks were covered in tears. They dripped off her chin, soaking into the surgical mask that flapped against her mouth with each heavy breath she took.

“Have you touched her?” the mother asked, very softly, and I felt a chill down my neck.

The guru smiled. “I have touched her, but not as a husband would. I have held her, and guided her, at times. It is not easy to touch her. She is fragile. But I understand your fear. We are married so that I may shelter her in this new life; that is all. I want to protect her, from men who would do what you are afraid of, from men who would take her and let her rot in a cell or a grave. I want to protect her from the birds in the sky and the dogs on the street.”

“I’m not afraid of what anyone will do to my daughter. They’ve already done what they will. Taken her. Taken her from me. Why is she like that? The flowers,” the mother said, out of breath.

“It helps with the smell. In summer, she would be gone by now. But she’s strong. She ate meat from the sacrificed goats, wanted to eat it. She tried to eat me, I think, when she first bit me. But it’s just a habit that she remembers. I saw the meat sit in her stomach and make it big, like a baby in her.”

Like a baby, I thought, and felt spots appear in my vision. I blinked them back, sweaty, the stench clinging to my throat.

“She threw up many times, and it was still just meat and maggots. The body will not take food in death. It rots in her. Eating is not good for her, I think. Now I don’t feed her. She is happier. She tells me when I’m asleep.”

I could see the mother’s hands trembling, grasped tightly together over her stomach, her womb. The mask was soaked through. “I’d thank you, Guru, if that’s what you call yourself,” she whispered.

“I’m sorry, Mother, I can’t hear very well; this fever fills my head. The poison of the bites has its toll, even if it’s a gift.”

“I said, I’d thank you, Guru, if that’s what you call yourself,” she said, voice shaking.

“That’s what they call me, Mother. Guru Yama. I’d be honoured if you called me son,” he said, bowing his head.

I glanced at the corpse. I saw its distended eyes move in their sockets, looking at us from under the coils of marigolds. I took shallow breaths.

“I’d thank you, Guru,” the mother said again, not calling him son, “for guarding my daughter from the kind of people who took her away from me. I’d thank you if I knew that you weren’t the one who killed her and threw her naked in the river, as if she were garbage.”

“No, Mother. No, no, no,” he said. He looked genuinely dismayed by this suggestion, his eyes widening.

“You found her; how do I know?” she asked, coughing. I flinched as her daughter rustled under the flowers, breaking from whatever mordant meditation she was suspended in.

I touched the mother’s shoulder. “Ma’am, there were witnesses who saw him finding her; she washed up on the ghat . . . ” I reminded her.

“What if that thing isn’t even my daughter?” she said, taking off her glasses.

“It is,” I whispered. “I looked at the footage, compared the photos. We can ask the police to do a DNA test, but I don’t know if that would work at this stage of decomposition. If you claim her, we can get her to a morgue before she starts falling apart completely.”

“No. I don’t want that. She’s already gone. That . . . . She doesn’t look like my daughter anymore,” she said, her voice so very small.

The creature under the flowers crooned as gas escaped her mouth. It sounded eerily like song, and who’s to say it wasn’t? I saw the guru look at her, and I noticed his eyes were wet as well. Was it the accusation? Empathy for her mother?

The corpse moved its fake-looking hand, the skin stretched like a latex glove half–blown up. And, to my shock, she raised that grotesque hand and wobbled the flower into her thick blue lips, eating it, the petals glowing bright against her black-and-brown teeth. The guru pointed. “Look: like I taught her, Mother. Like I taught her. I taught your daughter not to eat, and if she does, eat the flowers. Small, they don’t hurt her. Good, beta, good.” He grinned, the pride on his face clear. The guru looked like a boy showing his mother a trick he’d taught his pet.

The mother stared, and gasped with what sounded like laughter. She laughed, perhaps, and then she sobbed, sitting on the dirty ground of that courtyard. She sobbed and sobbed, scrunching the surgical mask into her face like a handkerchief as her daughter’s corpse munched on a marigold, and her unasked-for son-in-law held her hand with hope and fear in his eyes. The moment lasted barely a minute before she got up and asked to leave immediately. She had come to officially identify her daughter’s corpse, but she’d barely seen it. And yet, how could I force that? How could I ask that the flowers that hid that monstrous, infantile thing that was once her daughter be removed? I dreaded to see the decay, and so did she.

“I am sorry for your loss, Mother,” the guru said as we left, his voice different from how it had been.

“I want it burned. I can’t have that walking around. It’s not my daughter anymore. She’s gone. I want it burned,” the mother said to me in the car, once she had regained some of her composure.

I drove her back to her apartment. She remained silent the whole time. Once I had parked by her building, she turned to me, eyes swollen. She grasped my arm, the first time she’d touched me. She held me very tight.

“Miss Sen, do you think I made the right decision?” she asked.

Swallowing, I told her, “I don’t know, ma’am. I truly don’t.”

“I don’t think he killed my daughter,” she said, letting go of my arm. Her hand fell limp to her lap.

“I don’t think so either. I interviewed a lot of people who were at the ghat, both when he found the body and when he came back. Everyone confirms he was among the morning bathers when the body washed onto the ghat.”

She let out a long and heavy breath. “I don’t think it should be burned.”

I don’t know why, but I was relieved when she said that. I remembered those horrible, deformed hands lifting a flower to that rotting mouth, and my chest ached.

“All right,” I said, nodding too hard. “Whatever you feel is right, ma’am. And please, call me Paromita.”

She placed her fist against her forehead, her bangles jangling. Her eyes closed, she said, “He can keep it. You know”—she opened her eyes, looked at me—“my daughter never seemed interested in marriage. I know I asked her about it too much. I wanted grandchildren very much, a son-in-law. To fill up our family, you know? It was so empty when my husband left, even though he was just one person. So, I pestered her all the time to meet a man. She was still young, after all, but had no interest in weddings and children. Such a good student, always career-minded. She was so happy to go to college. Really, she wanted to go abroad to study. I didn’t have the money. I don’t know how much that hurt her, but she never, ever used it against me, even when we fought about things. And we did fight. College was good for her. She needed to live apart from me. But I missed her so much. She’d say, ‘Ma, that’s ridiculous; we live in the same city,’ so I didn’t tell her, but I missed her all the time. Honestly, I was grateful she didn’t go abroad, so that she could still visit me. And she did. She did, until she was missing. And then that was that. Now I don’t know what’s happening.”

“Nobody does,” I said. I put my hand, very lightly, on her arm, before returning it to the steering wheel.

“You’re not as young as my daughter,” she said. “But you’re young. You have so much energy, to be doing all this, figuring out who she was, finding me, when the police should be doing things like this. All this work, all this energy, when the whole world’s going mad. You should be very proud.”

“Thank you,” I said, my ears going hot. I felt suddenly ashamed to be alive in front of her, despite her kindness.

She took a crumpled handkerchief from her handbag and wiped her nose. “The person who killed my daughter, that person was unkind to her. Horrible to her. I don’t know . . . whatever animal her body has become, I don’t know what it feels. If it’s walking, eating, maybe it’ll feel the flames. I won’t be that unkind. I won’t, in my daughter’s honour. That man can keep the body, or whatever it is now. You’ll tell the police?”

“I will. They’ll call you and probably ask if you identified her. You’ll probably have to talk to your lawyer and get a death certificate. But I’ll tell them.”

I smiled, though she didn’t look at me, instead staring straight ahead through the windshield. “Thank you, Paromita. For everything you’ve done, are doing, for me, and for my daughter.”

I nodded, but found myself too choked up on my words to reply at first. I barely managed to say “You’re welcome” before she took her handbag and got out of the car. I’ve talked to her a few times on the phone since, to organize a meeting with her lawyer and the police, but that was the last time I saw her.

 

4. Notes on Death

 

I saw Guru Yama and his wife one last time at Kalighat. I went there to tell him he had the mother’s consent to keep the body. I had ad hoc legal papers from her lawyer giving the guru “official” custody of the walking cadaver. The guru thanked me, but his enthusiasm had turned to sadness, because his wife was on the verge of falling apart. She was attracting rats and other vermin into the temple, and dangerously close to liquefying. “I do have to burn her,” the Guru told me, dishevelled and weak, scratching at his bandages.

“You can give her to the hospitals, the research institutes, if you want to keep her from the police,” I said. “They can put her in cold storage.”

He shook his head. “No, Miss Sen. Maybe if she was younger. The dead have short lives. This I know now. She would suffer a lot if they tried to freeze her now.” He had decided. Perhaps because of his meeting with the mother. Perhaps not.

He used her rope leash to lead her from the altar to a hired lorry. By now, she was barely able to walk, waddling slowly and leaving a trail of dark brown droplets that her garlands dragged into smears. Men with mops swept the trail away as she was led across the courtyard. The walk took half an hour. The guru draped a cloth over her face so all the people they passed didn’t panic her. Dragging her flower garlands, she was lifted into the back of the lorry in a large blanket, five sweating men heaving at its sides and rolling her in with no dignity. I followed the lorry to the Garia crematorium.

I waited in the crematorium’s cold, shadowy halls as the guru’s wife was taken in for incineration.

The worst thing I have ever heard in my life was the brief scream that rang out through the crematorium, sharp and human, before being lost in the hum of the ovens. I went outside to find a dog barking furiously in the courtyard, drool flying into the dirt. I leaned against the yellow walls of the building and waited.

The guru emerged and thanked me again.

“That scream—was that her?” I asked.

He nodded. “It’s good. It’s good that her mother wasn’t here.” I saw his hands shaking like the mother’s had.

“What’ll you do now?” I asked.

“I’ll find more of the dead who need my help. Other people want to give me their dead, to take care of, to speak to in my visions. I have followers. I’ll never let one of the dead down like this again. One day, Miss Sen, I’ll be a big guru, like the ones you see on TV, in the newspapers. I’ll have money. When I do, I’ll buy one of those resorts, those hotels in the mountains, high up. In the Himalayas or”—he paused, then spoke carefully—“Switzerland. I saw them in magazines. It’s always cold, and they’re huge. There, my dead can roam free, and live longer. You watch; you’ll see. Away from all these people trying to take them, away from police. They’ll be happy there.”

I wished him luck as he walked back to his followers, looking strange without his wife by his side. In my car, I cried quietly for that walking corpse, as if I were crying for the woman who had died in its body.

 

Guru Yama doesn’t yet have a Swiss ski resort for his dead. He does have an ashram in Uluberia, with refrigerated chambers for his “children” (no more wives or husbands, to reduce the accusations of necrophilia). He keeps himself in a perpetual state of fever, allowing his children to bite him every month, staving off death and resurrection via antibiotics paid for by his followers and clients. Detractors of dead-charmers say that the visions and dreams through which they talk to the dead are nothing but delirium brought about by fever and drugs, including heroin and hash taken for the pain. I plan, one day soon, to do a book of photo essays with my friend Saptarshi about him and his flocks, dead and alive.

I still don’t know whether he’s a charlatan, or deluded, or a prophet.

Perhaps because I’m an atheist, I’ve never trusted charismatic religious figures who use their influence to gather wealth. I don’t quite recognize the man I see in videos and pictures now, covered in ash, turmeric paste and bandages, cloaked in hash and incense smoke, beard hanging down to his hollow stomach, surrounded by veiled corpses like a true lord of death. But I remember the man who walked out of Garia crematorium, his shaking hands, his shocked stare. His grief for the creature he called his wife was so very real. We both heard her scream as she died a second time.

The thing about the reality of the undead is that we can now see the afterlife. We live in it. And we share that afterlife with its dead inhabitants, who walk among us. But we can’t talk to them, and they can’t talk to us. That truly is the most exquisite, atheistic hell.

 

5. Notes on Afterlife

 

Visiting my parents is different now. Now, when I drink tea with them on their veranda, tea that somehow tastes of my childhood even though it’s just plain old Darjeeling, I watch them age gently next to me. More than ever, every new wrinkle, every new wince of bodily pain, every glimmer of sun off a newly silvered strand of hair catches my eye. And I can’t help but think of the future.

In this, should I say, apocalyptic future, I have to sign a form by their deathbeds. The form asks if their death is to be final, if I want to authorize doctors to sever their brain stems and puncture each lobe right after their hearts stop beating, to make sure they won’t rise up again in undeath. There are two other options: I can illegally have them bitten by a corpse belonging to a dead-charmer before they die, to increase their chances of resurrection. Or I can take a cosmic gamble and let the universe decide between two terrible things by checking the other box on the form that says my parents should be left untouched after death, to see if their bodies naturally choose undeath. The undead will not be allowed in homes because of numerous health hazards including dangerous, often lethal, bites. So if my parents rise into undeath it will fall to me to hand them over to the government or a private scientific institution, or a dead-charmer.

This is the future. Governments are already trying to figure out appropriate legislation for the realities of dead people waking up and creating an entirely new kind of life.

I think about simply losing my parents forever, once the only choice. Then I think of them undead. And I think of Guru Yama’s wife, grotesque and alien, death itself personified as a gigantic, corpulent infant, crooning to itself and eating a single marigold as I struggled to understand whether its painfully corrupted form caused it pain. I think of it screaming in an oven.

I see myself, pen hovering over the forms, not knowing which box to check.

Who am I to deny someone I love a second life, however incomprehensible, however different from the first? And then, with both relief and panic, I realize it’s not even my choice, but my parents’. One day, I’ll have to have a conversation with them about whether or not they want to risk becoming a fucking zombie. I haven’t asked yet.

And one day, when I have a child—if I have a child—I’ll have to have that conversation again, when they ask me.

When these thoughts creep into those evening conversations with my parents, tinting them with dread, I think of two corpses shambling up a snow-clad mountain in Switzerland, their flesh preserved in a fur of frost that glitters under a high, clear sun, their thoughts unfathomable.

 

“Breaking Water” copyright © 2016 by Indrapramit Das

Art copyright © 2016 by Keren Katz

Deadpool is Hysterically Funny and Also Deeply Disappointing

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Deadpool movie

Fans have been waiting for this Deadpool film for a long time. What began as just a twinkle in Ryan Reynolds’ eye (that got shelved eternally after the embarrassment that was X-Men Origins: Wolverine) has finally come to pass, and it gets a big thumbs up for making room in the current movie landscape for superheroes to be truly funny.

It also gets a big thumbs down for making the same mistakes that so many of these properties always make when it comes to estimating its audience.


In order to fully explain my cheers and quibbles, I have to go into some detail, so there will be spoilers in this review. (Do you really care that much about spoilers for a Deadpool movie? I doubt he does. He just wants you to smuggle some chimichangas into the theater so he can smell them through the screen.)

Starting with the good, Deadpool manages to tick all the comedic boxes that it needs to. The meta-humor is perfectly orchestrated in this film, going out of its way to inform us that Deadpool is aware of his tropes and cinematic surroundings, which is half of what makes the character enjoyable. The opening credits of this movie don’t even showcase anyone’s name, just a list of stereotypes and one-offs about what you can expect in a superhero film (“A British Villain,” “The Writers aka The Real Heroes Here”). It also parodies most Marvel closing credits sequences, with closeups on equipment, and costumes, and such. Hugh Jackman jokes abound. The asides that tie into the X-Men film series at large make up some of the best humor in the movie.

After the many wrong turns Ryan Reynolds has made in his career, Deadpool feels like his first true homecoming. He flirted with romcom leads and that brief, horrible stint as Green Lantern, and now he’s figured out where he belongs. Good for him. He’s excellent in the part, equal parts heart and self-protective sarcasm, and the cadence he uses as the character (particularly when he’s masked) is exactly right. As in “When I read the comics that’s the voice I’ve always heard in my head. How did he do that?” kind of right. The movie sets him firmly in the role of anti-hero, removing some of the more unsavory aspects of the character—which make sense, since those aspects haven’t really been in play for the more recent comic runs. Also, the CGI team deserves all the credit in the world for giving Deadpool’s mask a range of facial expression we normally only see on the page. It allows him to be funnier and adds another sheen of unreality, setting it apart from the other eight (there’s been eight!?) X-films even when it’s meant to play alongside their narrative.

Deadpool movie

The film’s extreme self-awareness helps it out when some of the less tasteful comedy comes into play. When Deadpool (at that point just Wade Wilson, mercenary) meets his soon-to-be girlfriend Vanessa Carlysle (played by the ever-sparkly-even-when-she’s-cursing-a-blue-streak Morena Baccarin), he pulls the weird Pick-Up Artist “how were you hurt as a child because there’s no way such a gorgeous woman would show up here otherwise” query. When Baccarin gives the rundown of her background, Wilson turns it into a competition over who had it worse growing up, turning a typically bad joke on its head—because ruined childhoods are not the sole purview of beautiful women in gross bars. This also happens during Deadpool’s run-ins with Colossus and Negasonic Teenage Warhead; a role that might have simply harped on the “annoying teenage girl” stereotype is elevated by Brianna Hildebrand’s gothy aesthetic, and her general unwillingness to play along with any of Deadpool’s antics. (“You’re putting me in the box,” she says at one point when he tries to distill her reactions down to the two oft-used options of meanness or sarcasm.)

Because Deadpool is an origin story told primarily through flashback, there is very little, narrative-wise, to differentiate it from any other superhero story. The villains are unfortunately paper-thin and distressingly boring. (I’d expect it for Ed Skrein’s Ajax, but when you’ve got Gina Carano playing Angel Dust, for the love of every deity on earth, do something worthwhile with her. A couple good fight scenes are not enough.) Leslie Uggams gives a perfect—but tragically underused—turn as Blind Al, with a relationship to Wade that is far healthier than the one comics fans have seen on the page… and that’s saying something, because it’s not like they’re a pile of puppy cuddles here, either.

My problems with this film boil down to the same problem we have in the majority of superhero film-making. It seems that despite audience statistics, despite years of showing up, despite how often it’s repeated at conventions and in interviews and all over the internet, Hollywood (and most major corporations by and large) STILL DON’T UNDERSTAND THAT WOMEN LIKE THESE STORIES. Look, I’m a fan of Deadpool. I read the comics. I love the crossovers. I’m hooked on metafiction and meta-humor, which is the very thing Deadpool excels at. It’s worth noting that Harley Quinn—who has many of the same characteristics to recommend her—is insanely popular as well at this point in time. And she’s not popular with women simply because she’s female. It’s because women like all of this stuff, too.

So when this film—which is entirely irreverent as you’d expect, often to the point of distastefulness—makes all the same lame, tired jokes that are usually made at the expense of women, I get sad. When women are used in all the same ways that they’re normally used in these narratives, I get more sad. Deadpool frownyface sad:

Deadpool

When the film freeze-frames on Deadpool skewering a guy with two katanas and the voiceover has Wade cheerfully begin with, “I know what you’re thinking: ‘My boyfriend told me this was a superhero movie, but then why is this guy—’” I laugh because the meta part of the joke is funny… but I’m also rolling my eyes because yet again, the assumption is that every woman in the theater is there because some guy dragged her in. Did they think we wouldn’t come because of all the dick jokes in their advertising campaign? Because I have no problem with dick jokes. Judging by the amount of female laughter at the three-dozen-or-so penis-related-euphemisms in the film itself, I think it’s safe to say that very few ladies are going to be put off by a movie featuring a plethora of dick jokes. Literally all they had to do to make that line feel like less of a slap would be to change “boyfriend” to “girlfriend.” That’s it. Especially since, it’s not like every guy who walks into a theater to see this movie knows a thing about Deadpool either.

When Vanessa makes a Yoda joke as she curls up in bed with her boyfriend, and Wade’s reply is, “Star Wars joke… it’s like I made you in a lab!” I laugh because anyone who finds themselves in a good relationship frequently marvels at how they managed to locate another human being so well-suited to them. But I’m also cringing because that joke smacks far too much of geeky guys who still believe that the only way to find an attractive woman with similar interests is to build a damn android, à la Weird Science. (And I’m also cringing because Vanessa’s reply to Wade after that is scold him by saying “Empire!” and honestly who the hell makes that distinction, it’s all Star Wars. Come on, do your flipping homework at least.)

When the film actually makes a point of showing male nudity, I’m shocked and impressed. Then the film shows female nudity and I’m glowering at the screen. Because the male nudity comes in the context of action and also suffering—Wade Wilson is making a horrible bid for freedom and his nakedness is not the focal point of the scene, more a byproduct. And then we get the female nudity and it’s exactly where you’d expect it to be: a f*cking strip club. A reminder: you don’t just get points for equal opportunity, you have to think about the message you’re sending. The message here wound up being “sure, we’re willing to show a naked guy, but only when he’s doing hero things. If a woman is naked, it’s because she’s an object.”

Deadpool movie

So while I truly enjoyed a good portion of Deadpool, I’m holding out hope that it can be better. That the next time (because it seems like there will be a next time), they remember who goes to see these movies and give some extra thought to what they’re saying. You can be funny without alienating people, no matter what anyone says. And Deadpool is a superb testing ground for a new generation of superpowered comedy.

Emily Asher-Perrin would really just settle for a Hawkeye vs Deadpool movie. Exactly as the comic is, You can bug her on Twitter and Tumblr, and read more of her work here and elsewhere.


Discworld Artist to Sculpt a Statue of Terry Pratchett

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Concept drawing by Paul Kidby

Following the finding of four new elements to be appended to the periodic table, a campaign was launched last month to name one “octarine” in honour of Sir Terry Pratchett, who passed away last March after a long battle with the “embuggerance” of Alzheimer’s. That the petition has attracted approximately 50,000 signatures since speaks to the incredible reach of the aforementioned author’s life and literary legacy. It’s as good as guaranteed to go ahead, and make no mistake: that’s great. But as a celebration of someone as down-to-earth as Terry Pratchett, some might say it’s rather… abstract.

Happily, last night brought news of an attempt to memorialise the great creator a little closer to home—to his home, near the English city of Salisbury—by way of “a life-sized statue of Terry […] cast in bronze” by Paul Kidby, the very artist who illustrated a number of the numerous Discworld novels.

“The sculpt I would like to create,” Kidby explained in the proposal presented to Salisbury City Council at a recent meeting, “would depict the author standing in a relaxed pose wearing his iconic hat and carrying a book under his arm. […] Terry would be wearing his leather jacket and open necked button up shirt, trousers and shoes. In the top pocket of his jacket are some pens. There is the possibility to add some Nac Mac Feegles (Scottish-style pixies from Pratchett’s writing) to the sculpture which would add an element of humour and surprise to the piece.” In addition, Kidby is keen to place the proposed memorial on a flat base as opposed to a raised plinth because it would enable “a sense of ownership to the fans who might visit.”

He gets it, then. Good.

Even gooder: When Kidby—alongside members of Pratchett’s management and Emily Brand, the Salisbury resident who kicked off this particular petition—presented his proposal in person to the Powers That Be yesterday evening, things went surprisingly swimmingly. “While we were prepared to speak at length in support of the project and the potential benefits to the area, the council members voted very quickly and almost unanimously […] to allow the project to proceed to the next stage,” Brand said.

The next stage may be a wee while away, I’m afraid. “It’s a long-term project,” Brand cautioned, “but the overwhelmingly positive messages we’ve received from around the world show how important recognising Sir Terry’s work is to the fans that adored his work.”

One of those fans, and indeed friends, is a fellow by the name of Neil Gaiman, who pushed the petition on on his Facebook page, saying: “He would have said something a bit sarcastic about it, and have been secretly very pleased. And then he would have discovered that you can hide something inside a statue, and confided in all his friends that in a few hundred years people would be in for a surprise…”

How’s that for a hint, huh?

In your wildest dreams, I wonder, what would you like your grandchildren’s great-great-grandchildren to find hidden inside a statue of Terry Pratchett, several hundred years hence?

Niall Alexander is an extra-curricular English teacher who reads and writes about all things weird and wonderful for The Speculative ScotsmanStrange Horizons, and Tor.com. He lives with about a bazillion books, his better half and a certain sleekit wee beastie in the central belt of bonnie Scotland.

Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Script to Be Published as a Book

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Harry Potter and the Cursed Child Script

Good news, Potter fans! Scholastic and Little, Brown UK have a summer gift for us all! The script to the eighth story–Harry Potter and the Cursed Child–will be printed, bound, and available to read this July.

On July 31st this year (which happens to be the day after the show itself opens in the West End in London), Harry Potter and the Cursed Child will be available to read in print. It’s not quite the same as seeing the show, but it will be nice for Potter fans everywhere to experience the story at the same time! And it might have some fun Easter eggs, since scripts are known to house little notes concerning character motivations and actions.

We can’t wait until July 31st! In case you forgot, here’s the play’s synopsis:

It was always difficult being Harry Potter and it isn’t much easier now that he is an overworked employee of the Ministry of Magic, a husband and father of three school-age children.

While Harry grapples with a past that refuses to stay where it belongs, his youngest son Albus must struggle with the weight of a family legacy he never wanted. As past and present fuse ominously, both father and son learn the uncomfortable truth: sometimes, darkness comes from unexpected places.

The Star Wars Universe’s Idea of Love is a Lot Healthier Now

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Star Wars universe love healthy The Force Awakens Finn/Poe Stormpilot Shara Bey Kes Dameron Han Solo Princess Leia

Force-ghosts jumping from Imperial warships into apprentices’ bodies. Assassins falling in love with the Jedi they’re programmed to kill. Hapan queens trading one-night-stands for heirs. Reptilian crime lords spraying unsuspecting princesses with pheromones to broker a (eyebrow wiggle) trade. Jedi/Yuuzhan Vong hybrids caught between dead best friends/unrequited loves and their new, fallen-to-the-dark-side masters. Love—or, at least, sex and sometimes romance—in the Star Wars universe used to be a hot mess.

But what I grew up with as the Expanded Universe has now been mostly struck from the record—or, rather, redefined as “Star Wars Legends,” with an entirely new canon built around The Force Awakens. The introduction of new characters, through adventures in tie-in novels and comics as well as the new big-screen trilogy, brings new romantic dramas. And the surprising thing is, they’re all a lot more stable.

Spoilers for The Force Awakens.

Well, except for Han and Leia.

 

Happily Ever After Not Guaranteed

Han Leia The Force Awakens happily ever after not guaranteed love Star Wars universe

In the Legends books written in the 1990s and 2000s, the princess and the smuggler, who sparked so well in the original trilogy, made it to their Happily Ever After (or HEA, as the romance genre calls it) with fairly smooth sailing. Sure, Han did kidnap Leia to Dathomir to convince her to marry him, and their kids got snatched by dark side users more than once.

With the new continuity, we get a different story entirely—and while we haven’t gotten the exact timeline, here’s the current headcanon: Han and Leia settled into domestic bliss, but somewhere along the way things broke down. Maybe they sent Ben to Uncle Luke’s Jedi training school when he was far too young. Perhaps part of his experimentation with the dark side and getting to know his grandfather was because both of his parents either didn’t pay enough attention to him or didn’t tell him enough about his heritage. At any rate, Ben became Kylo Ren, and Han and Leia’s marriage couldn’t weather the death and betrayal left in his wake.

But what happened, when we started The Force Awakens and realized that they had not been in each other’s lives for years, was that we got a more interesting story. Nothing that we were promised at the end of Return of the Jedi has come to pass: The Empire hasn’t disappeared, Luke hasn’t resurrected the Jedi Order, Han and Leia haven’t settled into a lifetime of trading “I love you”/”I know”s. But who’s to say they ever had a chance? All we ever saw was them taking turns rescuing each other, fighting in Rebel bases, and macking on the Falcon—all high-pressure scenarios, nothing that’s any sort of foundation.

The past few years have seen the romance genre grapple with a sea change: Fewer authors feel beholden to the HEA, opting instead for more realistic endings where the couple can’t make it work, or where they get each other but lose something else. Writing for Ravishly, Noah Berlatsky emphasizes what’s most important about a romance novel, the optimism:

…I prefer to leave the door open for unhappy endings in my romance novels for some of the same reasons I like and admire and respond to the happily ever after when it comes. The thing I love about romance novels is the way they insist that love and happiness are important and real and true. You can show that insistence by defiantly giving your audience the happy ending. But you can also do it by acknowledging that some stories don’t end that way, while still honoring the impulse to believe that they should.

Similarly, in a discussion on All About Romance, author Jennifer Crusie explains why romance novels should provide the reader with a sense of catharsis, even if the ending is “just” instead of “happy”:

But a “just” ending can also mean a “sadder but wiser” ending (like Scarlett O’Hara’s) or a noble sacrifice ending (like the one in movie Sommersby) or a “pick-up-the-pieces-and-go-on” ending in which it’s clear the characters will not have perfect, easy lives thereafter, but are better off because of the struggles they’ve won and the life lessons they’ve learned.

So if HEA means a perfect marriage with perfect children in the offing, no, absolutely not, the romance doesn’t require this. But if HEA means all the pressing problems solved with hope for the future and a feeling of personal achievement and of justice served for both the characters and the reader, then, yes.

To the same end, Sarah MacLean, one of the romance genre’s wittiest authors (and one of the writers who convinced me to take the genre seriously), recently wrote a piece for Panels about how, for all of his swagger and dramatic heroics, Han Solo is not a romantic hero:

To be a real romantic hero, he has to change. He can change however he likes, but it helps if it’s because of love. But the reality is this: He never changes. He leaves her and only returns because he is kind of shamed into it. Because he knows he did wrong. He’s ashamed of himself. And he knows he can’t really live up to his ONE JOB, which is being Leia’s partner in all this horrible stuff. And then […] when he finally returns and they finally talk about losing their child, he says what is possibly the worst thing ever. “He just had too much Vader in him.”

[…] This isn’t a tragic love story because he dies. This is a tragic love story because Leia would have been better off with just about anyone else as a husband instead of this narcissistic, self-loathing man-child who can’t get out of his head enough to realize that his wife and the mother of his child might need him at one of the worst times of her life, and that… oh, hey, the world is ending and it’s not about him. I mean. Please. Sure, he’ll fly into a giant Death Star with every intention of not coming back alive, but fancy explosions will never ever make me forget that when shit got real, like really, emotionally, no-holds-barred-real… Han beat the hell out of dodge.

So far, the new Star Wars trilogy is all about the new generation finishing what Han, Leia, and Luke started—doing it again but doing it better—and as we see in The Force Awakens, that may include romance…

 

Love is Love

Poe/Finn Stormpilot Star Wars: The Force Awakens lip bite GIF

Poe/Finn Stormpilot Star Wars: The Force Awakens GIF

GIFs via yeahsureyourestraight and kevinpolowy (Tumblr)

We knew that Poe Dameron was going to be a hunky X-Wing pilot. We knew that Finn would be an adorable stormtrooper-turned-hero. What we never anticipated was how much chemistry Oscar Isaac and John Boyega would have, nor how many little moments in The Force Awakens would seem to support Finn/Poe as certainly a fan ’ship and possibly even an official pairing. The lip biting and gripping each other and running into each other’s arms seems too deliberate, as if the writers were trying to tell us something without saying it outright.

Fandom christened them Stormpilot, with Tumblr and Archive of Our Own collecting a staggering amount of artwork, GIFs, fanfiction, and fan videos (and songs! listen to “It Suits You”) exploring every nook and cranny of this imagined relationship. You even have a straight-faced Isaac saying things like (on The Ellen DeGeneres Show) “Well, I was playing it as romance” (although if you watch the entire video, he doesn’t actually say who he was playing romance to):

Let’s level for a second. Most likely, Stormpilot will never be a reality outside of fandom. If franchise owners are afraid of putting one girl in the package, you can bet they won’t market (gasp) gay characters. (There has been plenty of fan speculation that Poe is bisexual or pansexual. However, I believe that if an onscreen Star Wars character is going to be explicitly not heterosexual, the screenwriters would have that person be gay or lesbian, to prevent confusion for people who don’t understand the queer community.) However, the gift that Finn/Poe has given us is the sheer ability to imagine this, the mere thought that this could happen.

The new books have a little more leeway in introducing queer characters. Lords of the Sith introduced us to Moff Delian Mors, an Imperial officer who loses her wife in an accident; Star Wars: Aftermath features Imperial turncoat Sinjir Rath Velus, who is interested only in men. But neither is perfect: One’s spouse is fridged, while the other must fight off the advances of a woman. So, Finn/Poe is still the closest thing we’ll have. With Episode VIII director Rian Johnson retweeting Stormpilot fan art, maybe we’ll see a more inclusive romance in the Star Wars universe.

The point is, you can’t discount the solid relationships that are being established by The Force Awakens.

 

Realistic Partnerships > Passion

love Star Wars universe Kes Dameron Shara Bey Poe Dameron parents

Art from Shattered Empire: written by Greg Rucka, illustrated by Marco Checchetto and Andres Mossa

In January, New York Magazine’s The Cut published Alana Massey’s piece “Marriage and Two Kids: A Most Scandalous Fantasy.” It’s a tongue-in-cheek (but also not) examination of how, despite more open-minded attitudes about dating, it has become taboo to want to just settle down. Take Shara Bey and Kes Dameron, who appear in the comic Shattered Empire: These sexy young things help win the Battle of Endor alongside Luke, Leia, and Han, participate in a few more top-secret missions, then go into retirement on Yavin 4 with their little son Poe. They get their HEA, and Poe eventually follows in his mother’s footsteps by becoming a pilot, first for the New Republic and then defecting to the Resistance.

Unlike Han and Leia, Shara and Kes seem to have a relationship built on more than just passion, a real partnership instead of just two spitfires trying and failing to match up. They also demonstrate something I think we’ll be seeing a lot more in the new trilogy: exploration of different kinds of families. Poe comes from a fairly stable household, though interestingly his mother didn’t talk much about the war and he had to learn about some of her more heroic moments after her death. His parents’ sacrifice of their exciting Rebellion lives to raise him, their loving attention to their child, makes him one of the more stable characters in The Force Awakens. Ben’s turn to the dark side is undoubtedly influenced in part by his parents’ tempestuous relationship. Rey’s parents are absent, though we don’t yet know whether it was by choice or by death. Finn’s biological parentage is N/A, as the First Order trains its recruits basically from birth and becomes the only family they know.

But we watch Finn grab Rey’s hand as they run to safety. We see Poe embrace BB-8 and Finn with equal fervor. We choke back tears as Han and Leia awkwardly, emotionally reunite. Love is suffused in the new Star Wars universe in a way it wasn’t before The Force Awakens. When this trilogy ends in a few years, it will be cathartic, and hopefully just, and that will still mean a Happily Ever After.

Natalie Zutter is really bummed that Mara Jade isn’t part of the canon anymore, because even though her and Luke’s story was soapy as hell, it was also excellent. Can Mara still be Rey’s mother? Read more of her work on Twitter and elsewhere.

Malazan Reread of the Fallen: Blood and Bone, Chapter Three (Part One)

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Malazan Reread of the Fallen Blood and Bone

Welcome back to the Malazan Reread of the Fallen! Every post will start off with a summary of events, followed by reaction and commentary by your hosts Bill and Amanda (with Amanda, new to the series, going first), and finally comments from Tor.com readers. In this article, we’ll cover Chapter Three (Part One) of Ian Cameron Esslemont’s Blood and Bone.

A fair warning before we get started: We’ll be discussing both novel and whole-series themes, narrative arcs that run across the entire series, and foreshadowing. Note: The summary of events will be free of major spoilers and we’re going to try keeping the reader comments the same. A spoiler thread has been set up for outright Malazan spoiler discussion.

 

Blood and Bone Chapter Three (Part One)

Summary

SCENE ONE
Shimmer’s group heads up river through days of rain, everyone falling into a near spell of quietude and listlessness. Shimmer notes the ship itself “appeared terrifyingly derelict… Its shrouds hung in loose tatters” and that she can’t recall the last time she saw a crew member working the sails. One morning she finds the entire crew asleep, and Cole in a trance-like state staring at the water. He wakes to tell her there are “things in the water,” and she rouses the rest of crew, telling K’azz they’d seemingly lost their pilot. Rutana scornfully informs them Ardata has been controlling the ship for some time, and when the captain tells them the pilot seemingly fell overboard and K’azz orders a turnaround to go look for him, Rutana points out they have no control of the ship, telling him, “there is no turning back.” Just then they pass a village and the crew start yelling for help, screaming they’ve been cursed and enchanted. They jump off, and when Rutana says they’ll just be eaten, K’azz tells her to ensure they’re not. She does, but not happily. Shimmer asks K’azz what’s wrong (she thinks he looks “terrified” though unsure of what—“Our situation? Of what he may reveal?”), but he just tells her their situation is a reminder that they can’t fight against their fate. Shimmer rejects the whole “self-serving predestiny justification that religions flog,” and he acknowledges her argument, saying we’ll just call it “natural proclivity” then. He orders buddy duty for all and any mages always on watch.

SCENE TWO
The listlessness continues. Shimmer watches the banks pass by, weird creatures in sight among the trees or on the shore. She asks Gwynn, who’d been the mage of Skinner’s First Company, if things were the same when he was in Jacuruku, and he says they were on the south coast and never traveled in the country or to Jakal Viharn, which surprises and disturbs her. He tells her Skinner was gone a lot, and they had just assumed he was with Ardata in the city, though they never asked, saying, “One does not ask personal questions of Skinner.” She wonders why they didn’t just travel by warren, but he tells her the city is hidden from warrens; Ardata “allows you to enter.” Eventually she has the insight that the sense of “timelessness” they’d been experiencing was a sort of intensifying or exacerbating of the Vow, “not entirely imposed from without.” Their trip is interrupted by a sudden cloud of rainbow-colored hummingbirds that engulf the ship to even Rutana’s surprise. They flutter around then begin stabbing with their “long needle-like beaks.” Shimmer is surrounded so she can’t see, but can hear Nagal yelling and then she hears K’azz yell for Gwynn. There’s a blast of power and the birds all die and drop to the deck or into the water. Rutana, wholly unmarked, shrugs and says it’s just another day in Himatan. Shimmer asks if they were d’ivers, and Rutana answers kind of, adding the forest is full “of the old things that once walked the earth before you humans [Shimmer notes the telling phrase] came.” Shimmer finds the captain dead and K’azz helping Cole get back aboard the ship from the water he’d jumped into. Channeling Sour, Shimmer has a bad feeling about this trip…

SCENE THREE
At the Dolmens, a storm approaches just as Murk and Sour have unraveled all but four of the chains. They do the last two, then join to help Spite, following her as she approaches “a small object at the centre.” She grabs it, causing an explosion of power and soil, then tosses the object, a black stone casket, up. Though Murk warns everyone not to touch, one mercenary does, screaming immediately and briefly upon doing so before he’s turned into a charred corpse. Spite is just hanging onto the lip of the pit, and when Murk looks at her he sees her glowing with power and for a moment, he thinks he sees a glimpse of “rough dark-scaled features, and hands misshapen taloned claws.” Suddenly she’s dragged back by the chains, which were looking for something of power to grab onto, and due to her exhaustion she’s quickly overcome. The others decide to get going because something big is coming, and then come back once things have settled a bit. They put the casket on a stretcher, and with Murk and Sour carrying it (the soldiers refused), they all head for the ship.

SCENE FOUR
The ship, however, has left them and is heading out to sea. Yusen notices the mages carrying the stretcher and angrily tells the soldiers to take it over. The Seven Cities woman, Burastan, steps in, apologizing and almost, Murk notes, saying “Captain.” They head south toward the jungle.

SCENE FIVE
During a meeting of Skinner’s people, Mara wonders about his armor, what he called the “Gift of Ardata.” Though everyone else had abandoned their rusting metal armor, his scaled mail shows no signs of effect from the conditions, and it also appears nothing can penetrate it. They discuss how this is about a third of the Thaumaturg military, and their other garrisons are scattered and wide-spread, mockingly toasting to it advancing “as far as it is able.” The Crippled God’s rep shows up angry, telling them while they’ve sat around others have moved against them, and ordering them to follow him “to where you should have been and gone had you any shred of initiative.” He takes them abruptly to the Dolmens through a warren, much to their physical and mental delay, and tells them what was there inside should have already been in their hands. Skinner advances toward the wall of Kurald Galain/Starvald Demelain warren magic and when Mara warns him, he surprises her by saying he can see it. Petal clears a path and they enter, noting boot prints and diggings. Suddenly, Spite’s arm and then her head break through the surface (Mara also sees her hand as bird-like and taloned). She demands Skinner help her and, when he asks what happened, tells him she’ll explain once he gets her out. He rejects the idea and kicks her back down, with her yelling, “Jacuruku will consume you, Skinner!” He simply replies, “As had been prophesised,” then gathers his people to follow the trail to the jungle’s edge. The Crippled God’s priest orders them to follow but Skinner says the jungle will deal with them. The priest then demands they go with him to another and he takes them the same way there.

SCENE SIX
Saeng suggests going back, saying the army has probably passed and Hanu reluctantly agrees. Realizing he can’t go back, she asks what he’ll do, and he says leave, find a job as a guard to a merchant or noble, adding she has to stay because she belongs in this land. A roar comes from outside their cave, but Saeng uses her power to convinces the beast whose lair they’ve borrowed for the night to find elsewhere to sleep.

SCENE SEVEN
That night she dreams of wandering the jungle amidst ruins—tall structures on top of a stone plaza. A nearly naked half-man half-leopard appears and tells her she knows his brothers and sisters, the beast gods, including Togg, Fener, Ryllandaras, Fanderay, and others. She points out there was no leopard god and he agrees, saying he was the one “none dared worship… I am not a scavenger. I never skulked about your villages. To me you are the beasts… a kind of pig. I am the reason your kind fear the night.” She asks what he wants, saying she’s no priestess, but he tells her she is that “and more. Priestess, witch, mage. All we possess, all we know, has been poured within you” in order to “ensure or avert” the catastrophe some of them see coming. He shows her the ruins are the temple of the old Sun god, then disappears while a new figure appears, a Thaumaturg who casts a spell drawing down the “Jade Banner,” which threatened to “swallow the sky, the world, entire.” Then all is flame, obliterating everything.

 

Amanda’s Response

Heaven forbid a dignitary is protected by three parasols with silver handles, when it should be two parasols with gold handles!

This is some stunning imagery, building the picture of the ship sailing through the jungle—the silence, the water, the sense of moving but not moving, the desolate deck, the lack of a navigator. It creates a breathless picture of something about to happen. If this was a movie, there would be a sinister part of the soundtrack starting, especially when Rutana tells them there is no turning back now. You know, I don’t feel as though the crew is going to be safe, even though they’ve been permitted to leave the river without being eaten. Them running into the jungle is like something from Jurassic Park—they almost have “walking corpse” written on them.

K’azz is terrified? That doesn’t seem like a particularly promising way to start their mission. And then we hear that none of this crew have been through the jungle before, even when Skinner led them onto this continent. It’s all very dreamlike and vague. It is a very deliberate type of descriptive work, and is at risk of making it read slowly, but the air of menace means you’re impelled to keep on reading.

It is an interesting look at how Shimmer notices the feeling of the Vow, the stretching timelessness, while they are in Ardata’s realm.

The hummingbirds are an inspired choice for this attack. They are usually presented as such beautiful jewelled tiny things, with not a hint of evil, and here that is turned on its head. Were they focusing their attacks on Shimmer, or did everyone receive the same attention? Gwynn has some explosive power here, but why didn’t he attack the hummingbirds straight away? And what is Rutana, if she refers to Shimmer and the others as “you humans”?

Do Murk and Sour have any idea what Spite is? Murk doesn’t seem to bat an eye at the raindrops hissing as they hit her, and at the appearance of her eyes as she stares into space. And then Sour’s remark that her power is like that of an Ascendant.

I love the fact that Sour, this small and most certainly not intimidating fellow, has an instinctive touch with magic. No intelligence, but formidable magical ability.

“Spite, it seemed, possessed no subtlety whatsoever.”

Yep, that sounds about right.

They just abandon Spite? Considering she was the one who was insisting they follow this plan? I mean, I know that she is in the process of being chained and that it would be difficult to rescue her, but it still seems a little heartless. Given that, I do love Yusen’s comment, “What goes around comes around, hey?” Still loving this little hints of Yusen being a captain, and this band of mercenaries obviously being connected to something Malazan.

Interesting hint that Skinner has been changed, with his ability to suddenly see the shimmering wall of Warren magic. Something to do with Ardata’s influence on him?

And then this brutal response to seeing Spite trying to escape. So deliberate: “I think it best you remain out of contention for a while.”

What are the terms that the Crippled God insists that the Disavowed have the fulfil? What deal was made?

I would NOT like to live in this jungle. Just saying. *shudders* Saeng seems perfectly at home though, with her control of the creature whose cave she has borrowed. That was rather a casual demonstration of just how far her powers have grown.

“I am the one none dared worship.” Which god is that? One tied to leopards? A beast god we haven’t encountered, or linked to Light, since that is what Saeng appears to represent?

 

Bill’s Response

I like the epigraph here from Customs of Ancient Jakal-Uku, which reminds me of ancient Asian custom and hierarchy. Beyond the historical echo, this book has some interesting echoes of other works—“Rime of the Ancient Mariner,” as mentioned. But also Heart of Darkness. It’ll be interesting to see how close those parallel going forward.

One of the things I like early here about Blood and Bone is the way its relatively unique setting—Jacuruku—is revealed bit by bit and from different vantage points. This sense of the lotus-eater aspect of the jungle, Ardata’s power, mixed in somehow with the vow, the slow travel, pouring rain, and figures exiting the mist “like ghosts,” the strange creatures are all wonderfully evocative. As is the Ancient Mariner feel of the ship description. Really good writing I thought. And quite different from much of what we’ve seen before. And we see this world through multiple characters—a more intimate view for instance via Saeng, a native hyper-attuned to her surroundings. And since Murk and Sour are about to head into the jungle, one presumes we’ll see it there as well. One question will be how much time can the author afford to spend in such lavishly rich evocation of place? I’m curious Amanda if you’re liking this so far, or our readers.

We’ve had several teases about the Crimson Guard’s Vow, little bits and pieces that haven’t yet coalesced. With Ardata’s offer via Rutana, and Shimmer’s sense of the magic she’s feeling being somehow connected, it would seem like we’re getting closer to a reveal. How long can Esslemont keep the tease going?

Who would have thought shimmering hummingbirds could be so nasty? And really, that was some Hitchcockian nasty there. Though one has to wonder why Gwynn had to wait for K’azz’s order to do something. You’d think he’d show a bit more initiative (not to mention a sense of self-preservation). A nice parallel (antithesis kind of parallel) to the d’ivers-like bugs in the cave Skinner’s group ran into.

I like the idea of Sour as a magical idiot savant.

Two glimpses of Spite in this chapter with taloned claws and reptilian features. But I like the move to show us that first glimpse of her that way, and then immediately humanize her and make us feel a bit bad for her when she gets dragged back and down, “those formidable eyes, so superior, so scornful, widened in unguarded panic.”

So, when Sour asks, “Do you have any idea what’s on its way right now?”, is he referring to Skinner’s group that shows up shortly? Or the Ascendants who did the chaining and would probably have a sense of what just happened? Or Ardata, being her land? Or something else?

Love Yusen’s dry response about the boat abandoning them while they were abandoning Spite: “What goes around comes around, hey?” Kind of a funny echo of the “always a fair exchange.”

Magic impenetrable armor. Will that come in handy down the road do you think? Or, considering Skinner is the bad guy (one assumes), will it be a real pain?

Well, this conversation by Skinner’s people about the Thaumaturgs’ army and their toast doesn’t sound particularly sincere, does it? Plans within plans… One such apparently including a pivot point that they’re hoping is further down the road, one involving perhaps a confrontation with Ardata, or maybe not.

Another funny moment here, with neither Skinner nor Shimmer moving when Petal tells them it’s safe to enter. Big tough Skinner. And then their reactions to Spite’s appearance. It’s a great image if you just visualize it for a moment: the hand coming through, and the three of them just watching it curiously, studiously.

Well, do we start a lottery on when Jacuruku swallows Skinner, this being the second time we’ve heard this (and possibly the third, if Skinner’s reference to a prophecy is not to the beast they tracked). And another time when Mara is “shocked” by an act of Skinner’s. You had to wonder just how much of the priest Skinner would put up with. But where is the priest taking them now?

Himatan seems a lovely place, no? What with the bulbous red poisonous spiders and the deadly snakes and the “bats, rats, tigers, ghosts” and whatever it is whose cave they’ve borrowed. Not to mention now with all these folks of power aiming at confrontation.

At this point, hearing the names of the beast gods—Togg , Ryllandaras, Fener, Fanderay—is like coming back home to old friends. I admit I didn’t recall Tennerock, who turns out to be another name for Fener according to GoTM (yes, I looked it up). The others seem to be new to us: Argen, Great-Wing, Earth-Shaker.

We knew Saeng was being groomed, but now it also appears she has been empowered. So we’ve been introduced to a lot of balls in the air in these early chapters. And it appears Light will indeed play a major role (whatever that might mean for Osserc’s stare-down with Gothos).

After training and working as an accountant for over a decade, Amanda Rutter became an editor with Angry Robot, helping to sign books and authors for the Strange Chemistry imprint. Since leaving Angry Robot, she has been a freelance editor—through her own company AR Editorial Solutions, BubbleCow and Wise Ink—and a literary agent for Red Sofa Literary Agency. In her free time, she is a yarn fiend, knitting and crocheting a storm.

Bill Capossere writes short stories, essays and plays; does reviews for the LA Review of Books and Fantasy Literature, as well as for Tor.com; and works as an adjunct English instructor. In his non-writing and reading time, he plays ultimate Frisbee (though less often and more slowly than he used to) and disc golf.

Lovecraft’s Most Bigoted Collaboration, No Really: “Medusa’s Coil”

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H.P. Lovecraft Reread Medusa's Coil

Welcome back to the Lovecraft reread, in which two modern Mythos writers get girl cooties all over old Howard’s original stories. Today we’re looking at “Medusa’s Coil,” a Lovecraft and Zealia Bishop collaboration written in 1930 and first published in the January 1939 issue of Weird Tales. Read the story at your own peril, bracing for lots of use of of the n-word.

Spoilers ahead, and bigotry.

Summary

Unnamed narrator gets lost in rural Missouri and stops for directions at a decrepit plantation house with overgrown grounds. An old man answers his knock and introduces himself as Antoine de Russy. De Russy suffers from spinal neuritis and hasn’t been able to keep up the place; he must stay on, however, to guard—something.

A storm’s coming, so narrator asks Antoine to house him overnight. Antoine’s surprised, as locals won’t even visit Riverside now. He leads narrator to a sitting room, less shabby than the rest of the house. Our adventurous narrator’s wish to plumb the de Russy mysteries is soon satisfied, for Antoine seems eager to tell his story.

After the death of his wife, Antoine raises his son Denis alone. The boy’s a de Russy in spirit and honor as well as looks, romantic yet chaste. Antoine trusts him to study safely even in the giddy atmosphere of Paris. However, Denis’s school friend, Frank Marsh, a talented artist of the decadent school, is also there. Frank introduces Denis to a mystical cult headed by Tanit-Isis, a young woman called Marceline Bedard in her “latest incarnation.” Though she may have been a petty artist and model before her priestess gig, she claims to be the illegitimate daughter of nobility. Denis raves about her in letters; before Antoine gets alarmed enough to advise him, Denis marries Marceline.

They come home to Riverside. Antoine admits Marceline is beautiful, slim and graceful with deep olive skin. Her hair’s her most striking feature: jet black, falling below her knees, and tending to arrange itself in distinct ropes or strands as if possessed of its own serpentine vitality. She constantly tends to it, and Antoine has the odd notion she feeds it with the oils she applies. Her dark eyes strike him as those of an ancient animal goddess; her complexion recalls Babylon, Atlantis, Lemuria. Denis fawns on her, and she seems to return his affections. Family friends accept her, but the family’s black house staff avoid her as much as possible. In stark contrast, ancient Zulu pensioner Sophonisba reveres Marceline, welcoming her into her cabin and even kissing the ground over which Marceline walks.

Frank Marsh visits to recuperate from a nervous breakdown. He grows fascinated with Marceline, convinced she’s the inspiration needed  to revive his flagging artistic genius. Something about her conjures visions of forgotten abysses. She’s the focus of cosmic forces, and he must paint her portrait, not just for himself but to show Denis a saving truth.

As the sittings commence in an attic studio, Antoine realizes Marceline’s infatuated with Frank. He contrives business to take Denis to New York, while he keeps an eye on his daughter-in-law. One evening he overhears her chastising Frank for caring only about his painting. Frank should know better than to reveal old things. He mustn’t incite her to call up what lies hidden in Yuggoth, Zimbabwe and R’lyeh!

In August, the climax comes. Antoine finds Marceline murdered in her bedroom, barely recognizable with the hair scalped from her head. Bloody footprints, and a bloody track like a huge winding snake, lead him to the attic. Frank lies dead, wrapped in an inky coil. Denis crouches nearby, bloody machete in hand, wild-eyed. Uneasy about Marceline’s letters, he returned and sent the house staff away. He found Marceline posing nude and demanded to see her portrait. Frank refused; Denis punched him out; Marceline unveiled the painting and fled. After seeing it, Denis knew he must execute the false-fronted gorgon that almost made him barter away his soul.

Though Frank’s painting is the greatest thing since Rembrandt, Denis insists Antoine burn it unseen, along with the coil of living hair Denis cut from Marceline and which crawled upstairs to destroy Frank. Outside, they hear Sophonisba wailing the names of Shub-Niggurath and “Clooloo,” who must come out of the water to reclaim his slaughtered child.

Denis kills himself. Antoine buries him in the basement, well away from the graves he digs for Marceline and Frank, who’s still wrapped in the serpentine hair-coil. He doesn’t burn the portrait; a week later, he looks at it, and everything changes. It depicts a scene of insane geometry and Cyclopean architecture, seemingly underwater. Marceline, nude, wrapped in her hair, presides over monstrous entities, eyes glaring as if alive, locks leaving the canvas to grope toward Antoine! Later, servants claim a giant black snake glides around the basement and visits Sophonisba’s cabin. Sometimes, even now, Antoine hears it gliding around the house at night, leaving trails in the dust. Medusa’s coil “enslaves” him and traps him in the house.

Antoine shows the portrait to narrator, who cries out. As if in sympathy with her actual body, Marceline’s image has rotted, but her eyes and serpentine hair remain alive, mobile. Narrator shoots the painting—clearly a mistake.  Narrator and Antoine flee, Antoine shrieking they must escape before Marceline comes out of the grave, along with the inky coil.

Too late. Marceline’s corpse lumbers up to drag Antoine back into the house, now burning from a dropped candle. Something writhes through long grass after narrator, but he gets to his car and drives off. Soon he meets a farmer who tells him Riverside burned down years before!

Narrator tells no one what he saw in the portrait, what Denis and Antoine must also have seen and what had most mortified their family pride. Frank had divined the truth about Marceline, and it explained her affinity for old Sophonisba. In however deceptively slight proportion, Marceline was—a negress.

What’s Cyclopean: Hellish vaultings in Marsh’s masterpiece, made of stone—or maybe fungus. Hard to tell.

The Degenerate Dutch: It’s horrible to unknowingly marry a gorgon from the dankest pits of hell—and more horrible yet if she turns out to be African American. And it’s so sad that the gentle southern way of life is now extinct. Don’t you just miss the charm of the slaves playing banjo and singing and laughing out on the flood plain? Lovecraft usually sticks to settings north of the Mason Dixon line—and now you know to be very, very grateful.

Mythos Making: Old rites can call up dark things from Yoggoth, Zimbabwe, and R’lyeh. There’s an itinerary for you! (We get a lot of R’lyeh. So much R’lyeh. Alien-built, the horror behind Atlantis and Mu, etc. etc.)

Libronomicon: Antoine de Russy’s books show that he’s a man of taste and breeding.

Madness Takes Its Toll: This whole story is full of people who prove, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that you can be perfectly sane and yet still be an unthinkingly evil douchecanoe.

 

Anne’s Commentary

Writing with Zealia Bishop always leads Lovecraft into strange geographies, like the desert southwest and outback Missouri and womankind-as-sexual-beings. The potential romantic melodrama of “The Mound” is effectively squelched in favor of subterranean worldbuilding. Romance leads to homely pioneer tragedy in “The Curse of Yig“—after all, what Audrey did to the baby rattlers, she did for love of phobic Walker. In “Medusa’s Coil,” there’s no skirting the immemorial battle-of-the-sexes stuff, here to end not with embraces but with machete-play and venomous revenge. Talk about Southern Gothic! Talk about le Grand Guignol!

This one acts on me like Marceline on Frank Marsh—I’m fascinated but repelled but determined to plumb her mysteries and haul them up to the sun. It’ll take a while, though, and more rereads. Here I can take exploratory dives into the aqueous depths.

First thing that struck me were the parallels with Poe’s “Fall of the House of Usher.” Narrator travels through bleak country in autumn, coming at sunset upon a decrepit house and its debilitated owner. See that crack in Usher’s fungous facade? This sucker’s going down. Notice the tinder-dry state of Riverside, the narrator’s aborted cigarette, the oil lamps and candle? This sucker’s going up. Then there’s Madeline, who returns from the tomb, and Marceline, who returns from the limey grave, at which point the promised architectural dissolution ensues.

Next were echoes of “Pickman’s Model.” We have in Frank Marsh a genius painter of the macabre. Marsh is a decadent and mystic, peering through the veil of the mundane. Pickman’s the ultimate realist, gazing without a flinch at the mould-caked lineaments of Earth’s fleshly (and flesh-craving) horrors. Marsh is one of us and points out the other. Pickman, unperturbedly, is the other. Each, however, captures dark truth in pigments. Marsh does Pickman one better by capturing a Color Out of Space in whatever portrait-Marceline pours from her goblet.

The frame’s not artful—gotta have a stranger-narrator to hear Antoine’s story and then witness its truth. The storm’s an atmospheric convenience; for an internal motive, narrator only says that he’s adventurous and curious (evidently by nature).

As far as narrator’s concerned, the tragedy of Riverside is Antoine’s and Denis’s. Me, I say it’s Marceline’s. Even Frank admits she’s the closest thing to divinity Earth can boast, Tanit-Isis in a former incarnation, in this one a scrambler who can assume her true priestly role only before a bunch of Bohemian amateurs. Better to nab a (supposedly) rich American and play the good wife. At least she’s lucky to find Sophonisba at Riverside, a sister in ancient lore and a true believer. Then Frank drops back into her life, and the captivator is captivated. Now Marceline really wants to play the human woman and put aside “elder secrets” in favor of moonlit romance. I imagine Frank’s attraction is that he does know what she is, he does understand her as Denis could never bear to. Too bad Frank’s so ambivalent, greedy for wonder but also anthropocentric enough to think Denis should be warned off. Or is he racist enough?

I’m not sure about Frank, whether he finds Marceline’s human ancestry the horrible thing of which Denis must be made aware. I’m not sure it’s her blackness that drives Denis to madness—he rants much more about her inhuman monstrosity, how she’s a leopard, a gorgon, a lamia. The hint there’s something more, something Antoine need never know if he doesn’t look at the painting—must it be she’s partly black? Might it not be how the painting’s imbued with Marceline’s terrible vitality-beyond-death and that the painted hair-serpents can leave the canvas?

And Antoine? He wears his racism openly, unashamedly, as his patriarchal attitude and his free use of pejoratives show. Would he really be unable to choke out that Marceline was part black?

What seems sure is that narrator is racist—he’s the one who assumes the ultimate horror for Antoine and Denis was Marceline’s racial heritage. Never mind she’s “Clooloo’s” child—racism, a very local form of “not-me” antipathy, trumps xenophobia, because the aliens and extradimensional monsters are usually far away.  Moreover, aliens are worst when they mix with humans—see Deep Ones and Wilbur Whateley.

The racism/xenophobia in this story deserves an essay or ten of its own.  Just time to note that another essay could be devoted to the ties between “Medusa’s Coil” and “The Thing on the Doorstep,” which Lovecraft would write three years later, revisiting the horrors of women who aren’t what they profess to be, and who want to mess with men’s souls, and who drag themselves out of basement graves. Except Asenath is really a man, whether it’s Ephraim or Edward who wears her feminine form. Ew, ew, sexual anxieties, and maybe Marceline’s the worst because she’s an actual girl?

 

Ruthanna’s Commentary

Zealia Bishop. A name to send anticipatory shivers down the spine. Her collaborations with Lovecraft tend towards novel settings, reasonably tight plotting, linguistic felicity, actual dialogue, and women with names and speaking roles. They also tend to limn Lovecraft’s broad, terror-driven racism with an edge of vicious systematicity: Bishop’s racism is a lot more intellectual, informed rather than merely justified by the societal and sociological truisms of the day. This story—which is absolutely better on a story level than the incoherent “Horror at Red Hook”—melds both writers’ worst bigotries into a decaying, fungous monstrosity that degrades what could otherwise have been a creeptastic gorgon-haunted house story.

Or maybe not. The racism is built in from the setting up: a plantation long past its glory days, one where the dwindling scion of an “honorable” old family mourns the lost joys of listening to slaves singing and laughing, and receives sympathetic agreement from our twitwad of a narrator. Where men with “a devil of a temper” can certainly be counted on to treat fine ladies—and each other’s property—with the greatest respect. Where reluctantly freed slaves and their descendants stick around out of “strong attachment” to the family. Where the n-word gets thrown around with abandon, and not in reference to cats.

Where the revelation that one’s wife was a true priestess of R’lyeh, and the source of the gorgon legend, can be trumped only by the revelation that she was a “negress.”

So what the hell is so damn scary about brown people? Even those with pale skin and of “deceitfully slight proportion”? Well, for a start, they have hair. Big, scary hair, that might jump right off their heads and STRANGLE YOU WHERE YOU STAND! The irrational terror of white people, faced with hair that doesn’t just limply go along with gravity, has been well-documented elsewhere; I will merely note that this is an extreme example.

Also scary: all brown people (and Jews, and foreigners, and people who speak foreign languages) worship Cthulhu and remember secrets that would have been better drowned with R’lyeh. And they all know each other—perhaps Cthulhu worshippers send secret Cthulhugrams that connect 150-year-old freedwomen with Francophile ophidipilori moonlighting as priestesses.

This isn’t the first place this weird underground monoculture shows up—it’s the central obsession of “Call of Cthulhu” itself. The resulting impression is perhaps not what Lovecraft intended. Cthulhu is always the god of the enslaved and oppressed, those who’ve fallen from glory and those who never had it. This gives me a certain sympathy, especially as insight into ancient R’lyehn secrets appears to have no more power to protect against oppression than any other faith.

My favorite part of the story is Sophonisba praying to Cthulhu to “come up out of the water and get your child.” Probably Howard and Zealia didn’t expect their readers to find this touching.

I suspect Lovecraft sought to portray Cthulhu, not as a last resort of the afflicted, but as the god of revolt against the rightful order, who overturns all that is good and sane and civilized. At some level, Fred Clark points out, this implies an awareness that such a revolution could be justified, and would certainly be well-motivated. If you’re at the top, isn’t that the ultimate terror?

There is real horror in this story—totally unnoticed by the authors—and it’s not Marceline.

 

Next week, we look (ideally using a mirror) at a very different take on Medusa, and on scary things from the stars, in C. L. Moore’s “Shambleau.”

Ruthanna Emrys’s neo-Lovecraftian novelette “The Litany of Earth” is available on Tor.com, along with the more recent but distinctly non-Lovecraftian “Seven Commentaries on an Imperfect Land” and “The Deepest Rift.” Winter Tide, a novel continuing Aphra Marsh’s story from “Litany,” will be available from the Tor.com imprint in Spring 2017. Ruthanna can frequently be found online on Twitter and LiveJournal, and offline in a mysterious manor house with her large, chaotic household—mostly mammalian—outside Washington DC.

Anne M. Pillsworth’s short story. “The Madonna of the Abattoir” appears on Tor.com. Her first novel, Summoned, is available from Tor Teen along with the recently released sequel Fathomless. She lives in Edgewood, a Victorian trolley car suburb of Providence, Rhode Island, uncomfortably near Joseph Curwen’s underground laboratory.

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